Dr Mantis Toboggan M.D.

Masters in Alchemy, PHD in Cunnilingus #cbtm

[Darren🇬🇾 @DarrenEB1]

The best one by a mile 😭😭😭😭😭

[Hugh Retard @HughRetard]

🎶He’s from Texas I can tell by the way he’s brown and smells like poo
And judgin’ by the poop that’s smeared across his face, deportin’s all that I can do🎶

[Sterling Snow @sterlingmsnow]

I reread this every year.

I cry like a baby every year.

Todd Beamer died a father, husband, and hero.

Todd: Hello… Operator… listen to me. I can’t speak very loud. This is an emergency. I’m a passenger on a United flight to San Francisco. Our plane has been hijacked.

Lisa: I understand. Can they see you?

Todd: No. There are three that we know of. They have knives — razor knives, like box cutters. Someone announced from the cockpit there was a bomb. It sounded fake.

Lisa: Your name?Todd: Todd Beamer. United Flight 93.Todd: They killed one passenger in first class. They forced most of us back. Fourteen of us here. Five flight attendants. The guy with the bomb ordered us to sit on the floor.

Lisa: Are you okay?

Todd: We’re going down… wait. No. We’re leveling off. We changed directions. We’re flying east again.

Todd: A guy named Jeremy called his wife. She told him two planes hit the World Trade Center. Lisa, is that true?

Lisa: I have to tell you the truth. It’s very bad. Both towers are gone. A third plane hit the Pentagon. Our country is under attack. I’m afraid your plane may be part of their plan.

Todd: Oh God. Lisa, will you do something for me? Call my wife and my kids. Promise me you’ll call.

Lisa: I promise.

Todd: Our home number is… You have the same name as my wife. Lisa. We’ve been married ten years. She’s pregnant with our third child. Tell her I love her. I’ll always love her. We have two boys — David, he’s 3, and Andrew, he’s 1. Tell them their daddy loves them and he is so proud of them. The baby is due January 12th. I saw an ultrasound. We still don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy.

Lisa: I’ll tell them. I promise, Todd.(Lisa patches in the FBI.)

Agent: Todd, your plane is on a course for Washington. Best guess is the White House or the Capitol.

Todd: I understand. I’ll be back.

Todd: Everyone knows this isn’t a normal hijacking. We have decided we will not be pawns in their plot.

Lisa: What are you going to do?

Todd: Four of us are going to rush the one with the bomb. Then the cockpit. A stewardess is getting boiling water. We’ll take them out.

Todd: Would you pray with me?They pray the Lord’s Prayer. Then: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.

Todd: God help me. Jesus help me.Are you guys ready? Let’s Roll.

[LSU Football @LSUfootball]

Turn me up COOKIE‼️‼️

[Minga @KillaMinga]

This is why every man want a son , another nigga that understands 😭😭

[tik @twosuh]

Thank you for changing my broke ass life

[mark normand @marknorm]

Lindsay Clancy is OJ for white women

[NJ Assembly GOP @NJAssemblyGOP]

New Jersey taxpayers gave Rutgers $5 million in the state budget for "Events Attraction and Marketing," reportedly to help compete in the NIL arms race.

Last night Rutgers lost to UMass 37-21.

A team that went 0-12 last year.
On a 16-game losing streak.
A 28.5-point underdog.

Oh! And Rutgers paid UMass $1.55 million to show up and beat them.

"We got outlicked, outplayed and outcoached." — Coach Schiano

Let's recap:
💸 $5M in taxpayer money
💸 $1.55M paid to the opponent
🏈 One historic upset

Your tax dollars at work.
https://t.co/0SkFrUPOfA

[Dr Mantis Toboggan M.D. @brestlover11]

@HJB_News__ She looks like a fucking goblin

[Dr Mantis Toboggan M.D. @brestlover11]

@Mobyhaque1 Have to think it’s just get through this year with barcola plus what we have then activate rayan release clause next summer no?

[🖍️ @AlonsoBalll]

Van Dijk reference yeah we main stream ✌🏻

[Dr Mantis Toboggan M.D. @brestlover11]

@mokhanhim 2 and 3 are the same person

[Dr Mantis Toboggan M.D. @brestlover11]

@itsrosesm Yes

[Dr Mantis Toboggan M.D. @brestlover11]

@Connecticut85 @PerSources

[Dr Mantis Toboggan M.D. @brestlover11]

@GovTimWalz This nigga serious

[AB @AB84]

why is dick van dyke an acceptable name but pussy van faggot isn’t

[Dr Mantis Toboggan M.D. @brestlover11]

@wongkarwasian DEPORT

[Dr Mantis Toboggan M.D. @brestlover11]

@0liviajulianna