Brian Calder

Excelling at mediocrity since 1981

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

@rbcinsurance I’ve been on hold waiting to speak to an insurance advisor for 58 minutes. I pay you a few bucks insuring my home and cars. Is this reasonable customer service for you?

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

@nickcalder Her next baby is named website.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

Just catching up: So Beyoncé changed her kids’ names to Jet Ski and AC/DC?

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

@ScotsburnDairy is it true that you don't deliver to rural areas due to the Amherst closure? Craig's uses @chapmans_canada and it sucks.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

Looking forward to the end of 2016 so we can move on to brighter things like the nuclear arms race of 2017.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

#NatureFact: That pumpkin you're cutting up for your Thanksgiving day pie took 8-12 years to grow.

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

#PumpkinFact: Until just before world war 2, pumpkin pie was considered dog food.

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

@dcwllms thanks. From one bilge rat to another.

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

Where's the sherry? #mtnsales @ChanninLiedtke @Stizzef

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

Anyone else see that Cindy Crawford pic? Man, did she ever let herself go!

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

"Jesus Channin, could you be in any more pictures?!" Greg Bender #mtngo4gold

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

"Jesus Channin, could you be in any more pictures?!" Kim Beckett #mtngo4gold

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

Oh DEER, is this venison good! #mtngo4gold #GameOn

[The Onion @TheOnion]

TIP: Always tow a spare car behind your car in case yours breaks down http://t.co/m2jJ8ZpZfw

[The Onion @TheOnion]

In Local News: Driving Instructor Has Own Gas Pedal In Case Student Total Pussy http://t.co/Sc21e2TyNV

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

@DSF81 @dcwllms @EvanW2K leave me alone.

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

@TuttleMJ3 thanks Mike. Enjoy a rare cheeseburger and some grits for me!

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

I LOVE FRIED BOLOGNA!!

[Nick Calder @nickcalder]

I was up all night leaking nudes of myself. It's mostly just shots of me installing laminate flooring naked, but still pretty sexy.

[Brian Calder @brianacalder]

Rhubarb: the antithesis of cheese.