Brianair

The man. The beard. The swearing.

[Brianair @briane]

Contestant on Eggheads: this question is quite difficult because I don’t know the answer…

[Brianair @briane]

*waves bits at Twitter*

[Brianair @briane]

Not only is it no trousers Friday but as a bonus I am going commando *helicopters across the office*

[Brianair @briane]

@GaiaTheorist we are being oppressed by the trouserarchy.

[Brianair @briane]

@D011ster morning *doffs cap*

[Brianair @briane]

@GaiaTheorist I had to put on trousers to go to work. NOT happy about this. Morning, etc.

[Brianair @briane]

Good morning The Twitter. My, you are looking lovely today. *adjusts Friday hat*

[Brianair @briane]

@BHLC good morning sir. It is indeed a splendid day
*doffs cap*
*rides off on penny farthing*

[Brianair @briane]

You would have thought that my phone would have learnt the word wank by now. STOP UNDERLINING IT IN RED.

[Brianair @briane]

I’ve been awake for aaaaages. Morning you lazy bastards.

[HeardinLondon 💚 @HeardinLondon]

How very spin-worthy of David Cameron to say A&E's need to be "bailed out". It used to just be called "funding". #SaveOurNHS

[Brianair @briane]

Morning the Twitter. I overslept. How are we all?

[Brianair @briane]

@marthamaloney we would rule as benevolent dictators. Rewarding the good with hats. Making the bad hang out on Facebook. x

[Brianair @briane]

@marthamaloney sausage hats for all old people and dogs! It’s election promises like that which will get us into power. x

[Brianair @briane]

@marthamaloney do the dogs and old people have hats? Hats made out of sausages perhaps? x

[Joanna Bolouri @scribbles78]

Samantha Brick says something. People cry - "SAMANTHA BRICK HAS SAID SOMETHING." Somewhere in the distance a dog farts. Life goes on.

[Brianair @briane]

@rosslewis76 you just want me to leave you my porn collection.

[Brianair @briane]

Excellent documentary about ruins on BBC4. I love BBC4.

[Brianair @briane]

I am finding it hard to get outraged at things. Am I dying Twitter?

[Mmmm Dowling @MarionDowling]

I know we only saw this yesterday but my TL is so miserable today I thought LET'S SEE IT AGAIN!! (Via @Earth_Pics)