Brittany Bryan

dog mom, hot mess, lord bless 🙏🏻😎

[Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman]

Any MAGA or Q conspiracy defectors can come sit next to me in the school cafeteria. I imagine it’s really scary to lose the friends and sense of community, but I promise you will gain a new one. Your past doesn’t have to define you. Let’s move forward together

[Brittany Bryan @britt_bryy]

@DDuubs @YourAnonNews There is an official court docket for the trump case number anon shone a light on. It’s not fake. It was voluntarily dismissed without prejudice by the girl’s team in 2016, but it did happen.

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

I used to dream about a world with no sports so my exes would pay more attention to me and now there are no sports but I also don’t have a boyfriend so you win some you lose some

[Stassi Schroeder Clark @stassi]

Sonja’s toaster oven would really come in handy right now.

[Brittany Bryan @britt_bryy]

You know you’re craving attention/messiness when you knowingly match with a guy on a dating app that you’ve been on a date with from another dating app and subsequently “soft ghosted”. #sos

[Brittany Bryan @britt_bryy]

Did I just put vodka in my chocolate almond milk? Why yes, yes I did. #isolationessentials

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

Please do not take medical advice from a man who looked directly at a solar eclipse.

[Michelle Wolf @michelleisawolf]

Flattening the curve is not what’s happening to my body.

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

my favourite consequence of the covid-19 societal lockdown is aquarium penguins roaming around freely and when this is all over I for one welcome them as our new overlords

[Brittany Bryan @britt_bryy]

There are so many snacks in my kitchen I don’t know what to do with myself. Just ate a cinnamon roll, a pickle and some cheese-it’s. Just out here livin my best life #quarentine2020

[Chase @chaselyons]

Coronavirus severely underestimates how long I can sit inside my house living off of nothing but caffeine and shredded cheese

[Brittany Bryan @britt_bryy]

@krispytrees Not yet. Those guys are still on my bench.

[Brittany Bryan @britt_bryy]

I lose sunglasses as often as I lose men, which is why I keep 5 trash pairs around at all times.

[Gail Walden @GailWalden6]

Salad is disgusting but I want to live forever

[Brittany Bryan @britt_bryy]

Nothing like spending an afternoon grocery shopping, meal prepping, and planning my diet to turn around and order hot wings and fries on uber eats. 🤷🏼‍♀️ #dietstartstomorrow

[Betches @betchesluvthis]

I like to think I have high standards, but in reality I'll probably marry the first person who can explain to me how health insurance works

[Brittany Bryan @britt_bryy]

Floorboard of the lazy & basic ....but for can you even call yourself a #basicbetch if you’re car hasn’t looked like this?

[Brittany Bryan @britt_bryy]

@betchesluvthis #relatablecontent 😖

[Brittany Bryan @britt_bryy]

May not have received flowers @ the office today, but definitely didn’t have to throw one of my bench boys away for sending an acappella group either. Calling today a win. #HappyValentinesDay2020