Brittany Young

Miami U ♥️ Lancaster, OH ♥️

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

I’ve heard the jokes about stepping on legos, but nobody warned me it could actually draw blood. 😬

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

After a year of relentless sexual harassment, I packed up my desk and walked out of what should have been a dream career. 3 years later, that creep still has the nerve to text me. In hindsight, I wish I’d sued.

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

Good friend: “Hope you’re doing well.”
Great friend: “Heard you had a rough day; I’ll be there in 5 with drinks and hugs.”
Great friend: “Your ex is here at the bar...” proceeds to *accidentally* spill a beer on him and text with updates on how annoyed he is as he drinks alone.😂

[Oxford Police Dept. @OxfordOhioPD]

Well Halloween is officially here as we just had our first official costume fail in the lobby. Reminder, we don’t have keys to every set of handcuffs ever made. Good Luck at the Fire Department guys. I hope they can cut those off for you. 🎃

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

@KellyannePolls @realDonaldTrump @JoeBiden Maybe it’s time for Sleepy Joe to go back to hiding in his basement. My dad made these signs for our family, and now many of their neighbors have them proudly displayed too. #Trump2020

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

As per your request, Joe...

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

Next time I have a Zoom meeting with this many older people, I’m drinking wine. 😂

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

I’ve been obsessively telling everyone about how much I love @thehomeedit, so if I don’t get @ContainerStore gift cards for my birthday next week, I’ll buy them for myself and sign the card from my cat and dog.

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

Never underestimate the soothing benefits of scotch and kitty cuddles

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

Update, the bitch is actually wearing a mask. Pretty sure you might as well stop giving a shit about your health if you’re dumb enough to be addicted to cigarettes.

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

Since the government wants to control every other aspect of life, maybe they should step in and control the assholes who smoke in public places. I’m much more concerned about secondhand smoke than a damn virus.

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

My dog just stood up on the couch and leaned in close like he was going to give me a kiss... and then he burped right in my face. Living with a boy of any species can be hard. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

I’m not sure what’s worse... that he had to look up the definition of crude, or that it’s not even the same asshole who sent lawn care advice. My DMs today are a complete dumpster fire. Kinda like 2020 in general.

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

A neighbor sent me a message saying I should fertilize my lawn. Funny, I think he should also do something that begins with the letter F. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Pro tip: sliding into a girl’s DMs with lawn care tips is a bad move.

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

Important PSA: you can’t touch your face if you’re holding a drink in each hand. 🥃

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

If you don’t have a tiger on your recent emojis screen, I’m going to assume you live under a rock. #CaroleDidIt

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

I just woke my cat and forced her to take a selfie with me so that I could caption it with “hey, all you cool cats and kittens”... so how’s your quarantine going? #TigerKing #StayHome #CaroleBaskinKilledHerHusband

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

Say it louder for the people in the back! 🙌🏼

[Psychology Today @PsychToday]

How to begin healing those wounds that can't physically be seen https://t.co/DbjQGV4XSc

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

Exactly how many days in a row is it acceptable to wear the same pair of leggings? Asking for a friend, obviously. #QuarantineLife #SocialDistanacing

[Brittany Young @brittyoung88]

If so, we clearly haven’t met this family member lol. I had a new case of White Claw hidden in my house... my mom just discovered it and took some as payment for pet sitting my dog. 😂

[Ryleigh Ann Henley @ryleighr]

Is anyone sober in our family? Lol @brittyoung88