there’s a party in the USA and you’re all invited — introducing our new limited edition party box featuring our classic favs Fruit Punch & Blue Razz + our newest flavor: Cherry Limeade 🍒
my new drunk friend - Teddy Swims and Jellyfish are literally the same person. You can’t tell me differently”
me: laughing my sober ass off… “what do you mean ?????”
her.- “yes dude like think about it”
me- “girl, are you talking about Jelly roll???
her: ohhhhhhh yeah
⚡️ Reminder: your chance to WIN Electric Forest 2026 tickets + car camping is still live 👀🌲
We’re sending 2 people to Good Life for the full 4-day experience with BeatBox in hand 🍹✨
🎟️ 2 Good Life Passes
🚗 Car Camping Included
🌲 Electric Forest 2026
Enter before it’s gone ⏳ https://t.co/Z8DjInww6S
i’m starting to realize that when you argue with people over Facebook, none of these people that you are arguing with are ever going to be open to a strangers view. So why waste the time?
DFW FAM‼️ RT & Tag a friend for a chance to win 2 tickets to @SevenLionsMusic ASLEEP IN THE GARDEN OF INFERNAL STARS Tour
•Must Follow
@LiveNationDFW@TexasEDMFamily
•Ends 5/5
Tickets & info: https://t.co/rQUZY8KqsH
There will be 3 winners each will receive 2 tickets
me: “i had this shooting pain in my back and i got up to use the bathroom and it shot down my leg and made my legs completely numb and i fell”
my buddy: “i’ve done that the other week; except i forgot i was paralyzed”
J baby-
“this is peak alcoholism,
instead of going to the liquor store and buying alcohol, motherfucker imma drive to walmart and buy some damn brownie mix and make some muhfckn brownies”
my buddy says some whack ass shit but today takes the cake
*he’s paralyzed btw*
me- “i have a demon biting my shoulder blade”
him- “probably because you need to feed it chicken”
me-“i can’t stand you”
him-“i can’t stand”
me-“i hate you”
my mom calls me yesterday and says out of the blue
“i have something to say”
me- okayyy what is it?”
her- “i think in your next life or this one whichever i know who you should date”
me- “omg who mom?”
her- “Yungblood, he’s not only extremely attractive, he would match you” 😂