amandä

on one hand who cares, on the other so what

[Casey Lawrence @LeanandCuisine]

Aye slim you can’t be posting stuff like this bruh, my girl be in the TL and she don’t need no temptation https://t.co/QyWsAAwB0n

[Peter Parker @incorrrectpeter]

Peter:ʷʰʸ ᵈᵒᵉˢ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵇᵒᵈʸ ʰᵃᵗᵉ ᴹʳ. ᴸᵒᵏᶦ ᴵ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ʰᵉ’ˢ ᶜᵒᵒˡ

Tony:he tried to kill everyone.

Peter:*stabs Tony with a plastic spoon*ᴵ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵗʳᶦᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵏᶦˡˡ ʸᵒᵘ. ᴰᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵃᵗᵉ ᵐᵉ ⁿᵒʷ?

Tony:Kid I-

Peter:ᵈᴵˢᶜᴿᴵᴹᴵᴺᴬᵀᴵᴼᴺ

[WaSeeM @WSMzzz]

You gotta find a girl with similar halal-haram ratio cuz imagine you’re living life snorting cocaine n sippin lean and your girl pulls out a ham sandwich wallahi I’d flip out astaghfirullah

[paul rudd @philsadelphia]

chaotic good

[mad @maddiehutsonn]

I have officially peaked

[D R E A @drea_jxo]

Imagine, you were emotionally abused by your step kids, you were isolated by your ex-husbands family for being black, your husband then divorced you, you had to raise your daughter on your own and she’s now a PRINCESS. There’s a God I’m telling you. https://t.co/WW0Sq1bFmv

[ؘ @starckreactor]

iconic infinity war quotes:

- “earth is closed today”
- “oh we’re using our made-up names”
- “why is gamora”
- “you’re from earth?” “no i’m from missouri”
- “get lost squidward”
- “broke up? like a band? like the beatles?”
- “get this man a shield”
- “she’s not alone”

[Munk 🇰🇳 @Pharaoh_Munk]

“You’ve been hit by you’ve been struck by a smooth criminal” https://t.co/br10TsvbID

[El Mayimbe @_kvrt_]

Real nigga marketing https://t.co/LuZREjiLUv

[Shariyf @shariyf_]

Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex
'Cause you don't want that late text, that "I think I'm late" text - Lil Wayne https://t.co/olpCS7bRNB

[Corlin. @OGCORLIN]

I don’t even cheat but I still get nervous when someone’s watching my phone. One of my bros could randomly text me “aye you hanging with that ugly bitch today?” and now we have a problem on our hands https://t.co/7awtM5rA3X

[cc. @coreymargielaa]

I suck at both..just stop talking to me lol https://t.co/SIlPAMRBTt

[elijah daniel @elijahdaniel]

when starbucks doesnt have your venti iced chai pumpkin spice unicorn latte with two shots of espresso and also you’re a racist https://t.co/KuFRdsiZ4n

[scottysire @ImNotScottySire]

i had a dream my girlfriend left me because she found out i was a serial killer

the scary part was when i woke up and told her she said, “wow, that’s a crazy dream. i wouldn’t have left you”

[Adam Harris @Adam_Harris40]

So my girlfriend called and woke me up this morning telling me to take her to the zoo and I really didn’t feel like going, so we compromised and I’m taking her to the zoo

[☆ c h a r l i e ☆ @misscharliehalo]

your wcw worries about her grades and cries because she’s so stressed but continues to procrastinate and take naps..... it’s me, i’m your wcw.