Helen ✰

consent turns me on🦕💥

[Beth McColl @imbethmccoll]

why be anti-abortion when you could just shovel dirt directly into your very stupid mouth

[Helen ✰ @broomstim]

@ life : you win

[Boosh @whatsupboosh]

Me: how do I do taxes?

School: here’s a recorder

Me: what is a credit score?

School: just put it in your mouth and blow like this

Me: how do I choose the right healthcare plan?

School: HOT. CROSS. BUNS.

[Helen ✰ @broomstim]

@unitylariana He’s the only animal 😒

[jaime @jaimeeeg]

Me walking into the living room after hearing my mom talk trash about me to the whole family

[Helen ✰ @broomstim]

@AustinTweeted I remember that lol

[Nick Offerman @Nick_Offerman]

@realDonaldTrump We the people think you’re shit.

[sassy sunflower @amandaasettee]

There’s men pretending to be Uber drivers to kidnap and rape women and yet some of y’all are still finding ways to blame the women.... I

[Helen ✰ @broomstim]

😭😍

[Helen ✰ @broomstim]

@WHlMSlCALWONDER Omg what

[audrey heartburn @carameldingdong]

um, did i do it right?

[Helen ✰ @broomstim]

Fucking neither

[Helen ✰ @broomstim]

@jenna_herzog Blame the four loko

[Helen ✰ @broomstim]

A fish tank

[riley @rileykahalo]

some of y’all should really use more of these bc the last thing you need to do is reproduce

[Helen ✰ @broomstim]

Can’t force people to be in your life :/