Sandys Cheeks

NYY NYG NJD BKN | Blernsball Champion |

[Sandys Cheeks @bros_HAN]

I just walked through the SUNY New Paltz campus and asked these dudes if they went to NP and they said “Excuse me do not assume MY gender NOR the gender of my romantic partner now excuse my as I roll my own cigarette” i said dang you really do go to NP https://t.co/ZFzS6bl3zn

[Connor @judd_connor]

I just drove through UAlbanys campus and asked these dudes if they went to UAlbany and they said yes. I said oh ya then what’s 68x2 and they said hold on lemme hit this juul first I said dang you really do go to UA https://t.co/7V4zCpuPwm

[Jimmy From The Q 📈 @JimmyFromTheQ]

I knew I heard that #SummerSlam theme song before #WWERaw

[RyanPatrick🇺🇸🦅 @RyanHatesGovt]

Is that suit flame retarded?

[Ross_co_Jones  @anonimo_jones]

Videos así que no podrán recrearse con la IA.

[Friendly Wrestling @WrestleFriendly]

Sting disguised as Sting is forever be LEGENDARY! 🔥🗿

[🅶🅾🆁🅺 @Raclure03]

New skill activated !

[🅶🅾🆁🅺 @Raclure03]

Cette vitesse 😁😁

[Restoring Your Faith in Humanity @HumanityChad]

They put a German Shepherd in charge of babysitting a group of Doberman puppies.

I love how he just lays down, rolls over, gets dog piled, and then does it again… I could watch this shit all day. Lol

[Robert Skvarla @RobertSkvarla]

America 250 is going well

[Autosport @autosport]

When former F1 driver Riccardo Patrese took his wife on a test drive around Jerez 😅

[RNSesq @RNSesq]

@CC_Sabathia No cap.

[TheCompany™️©️ @The_Real_Yay]

IYKYK 😂😂😂😭

[海外の万国反応記 @all_nations2]

定期的に見たくなる日本代表vs小学生100人

[J∅kër Kîng 👑 @j0ker937]

C'mon poke chop, take that ol'tree down!

[Alexandra do @K0_Alexandra]

the way she held her reaction in until it left on its own sweet soul!!!

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I went to In-N-Out and ordered a cheeseburger. The cashier, a calm young woman named Destiny, asked me a question I did not expect.

"You want that Animal Style?"

I paused.

I did not know what this meant. But a samurai does not admit he does not know. So I answered with weight.

"...Animal Style."

"Cool. So that's mustard-grilled, extra spread, grilled onions, pickles. Yeah?"

I understood now. This was a sacred permission. For one meal, I was being told to put down my manners at the door. To eat the way a beast eats, without shame. I had waited my whole life for someone to give me this order.

"Yes," I said. "I will become the animal."

Destiny did not blink. "...Okay. You want your fries Animal Style too?"

I stopped. Even the potatoes?

"The potatoes also become animals?"

"I mean, they get cheese and sauce and grilled onions, so..."

"Then yes. Let the potatoes abandon their restraint as well."

"...Got it." She was the calmest woman I have ever met. "3x3, 4x4, or just the one?"

I did not know these numbers, but I knew a challenge when I heard one. "How many must I face?"

"It's, like, how many patties you want."

"How many is the most honorable?"

"...Four is a lot."

"Then four. A warrior does not ask for fewer."

She wrote it down without argument. A 4x4, Animal Style, with animal fries. She warned me once, kindly. "That's gonna be huge." I told her I was counting on it.

It arrived. It was a tower. Cheese and sauce ran down my hands the moment I lifted it. There was no clean way to eat it. There was no dignified way. That was the entire point.

I ate it like a beast. Both hands, no honor, grilled onion on my chin, and I have to be honest with you, it was the best thing I have ever put in my mouth.

For thirty years I have kept my manners at every table in the world.

They handed me a burger and told me to be an animal, and I have never felt so free.

So tell me, America.

The whole country knows the secret menu. What else are you hiding in plain sight?

And "Animal Style." Was I eating the animal, or finally becoming one?