Bryan J. Ball

Comedian, writer, brigand. Renown Blasphemer, Youngest Red Lobster patron.

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

Sometimes I text my wife from upstairs and she replies “lol” but I don’t hear her laughing. She sits in a throne of lies.

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

@KatieMiller @KristiNoem @StephenM I never thought I’d say this, but I somehow have less respect for Vanilla Ice.

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

I mean… I could just delete my account but accurately describing @elonmusk as as a fat Elonia who currently serves as the First Lady despite his inability to jump, with obvious hair plugs and jawline enhancing surgery seems like more fun.

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

Here lies the career of Sergio Perez. #f1 #RedBull #HungariangGP #P1

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

According to the cartoons my toddler watches, the Biden administration should really do something about all of these people being carried away by party balloons. Seems like a real problem.

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

I think the 2026 rule changes should include an extra 2kg THAT MUST BE USED ON PAINT!!! #f1 #F12024 #Alpine

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

@JoeListComedy Did it taste a bit like hipster barista who knows too much?

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

@derrickgott007 @JimNorton @ComedyCellarUSA @Mrjimflorentine @OttoAndGeorge Didn’t even hit anything. Just dove for the bottom by its own free will.

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

Sorry, @CodyRhodes

[Sean Ross Sapp of Fightful.com @SeanRossSapp]

"Should The Rock sit at the head of the table?"

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

“IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN BAYWATCH!” @TheRock has already made my 2024.

#WWE #WWEDay1 #WWERaw

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

I used to think that it was awesome that I was sponsored by Oakley. Now that I have a toddler, I just want a Driscoll’s deal. Hook me up @driscollsberry! Soooo much fruit…

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

Why they gotta have a Taylor Swift drop in on SNL when Pete Davidson is hosting? That’s his Flying Pikachu! He needs her to complete his set!

#PeteDavidson #TaylorSwift #SNL #SNLPremiere #NBC

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

How the holy hell did WWE forget to renew the trademark on “Rated R Superstar”?!?!? I’d say someone is going to get fired but it’s 2023 WWE. They’ve probably already been fired twice in the last 18 months.

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

Edge > CM Punk. Big trade up for AEW. Both can still go, but got rid of the grumpy old man for the happy old man. #AEW #WWE #Edge #CMPunk

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

I was hoping that Aaron Rodgers with the Jets would last longer than CM Punk with AEW. Guess not.

#NYJvsBUF #nyjets #MondayNightFootball #AEW

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

Trying to keep a teething toddler happy. I’ve resorted to prop comedy.

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

@reigns_era Overrated

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

“Hey, Florida! If I come back and have to waste all my time healing lepers, I’m going Old Testament on you idiots!” - Jesus

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

Ran out of ice for my iced coffee yesterday morning. Used two of my toddler’s frozen teether rings. I am equal parts impressed and disgusted by my genius.

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

@SkySportsF1 ⭐️⭐️

[Bryan J. Ball @bryanjball]

I’m not the only one that sees those “CBD/THC” store signs and reads them as “CBD/THICC” right?