Brian Petty

Post game cold, tweet game fire.

[Brian Petty @bspetty24]

BREAKING: Tennessee officials have offered Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy. Sources tell me he asked for some time to... mullet over.

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

@DNIGabbard Hey @grok, did President Trump give Fauci a prestigious medal for his service during COVID near the end of Trump’s first term?

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

There needs to be a reckoning for this…

[Zach Costello @ZachCostello_]

There is no plan, you dummies. It's literally just a matter of calling out dishonesty regarding important campaign issues like the Epstein Files, no new wars, and dismantling the military industrial complex... here we are about to spend $200 billion on regime change war in Iran.

[Shibo @GodsBurnt]

“Conspiracy theorists” realizing they were right... AGAIN.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

Tonight, Congress will vote to lower the age to prosecute minors as adults from 16 down to 14 in DC.

Let me get this straight:

Congress wants to prosecute 14 yr. olds as adults, but they don’t want to prosecute adults who sexually abuse 14 year olds?

Release the Epstein files.

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

Survivors at our press conference announced they are privately compiling their own Epstein list.

They would be sued into homelessness for naming names, but @RepMTG and I are willing to name names in the House of Representatives under Constitutional “speech or debate” immunity.

[Brian Petty @bspetty24]

@jamierkennedy Been waiting 3 days now for the After pic

[Stewart Mandel @slmandel]

This is a guy who barely cracked the upper half of SEC QBs last year. He was arguably overpaid, not underpaid.

[Brent Scher @BrentScher]

“False conspiracy theory” that the government has $8 million worth of politico pro subscriptions that it’s about to cancel

[CNN @CNN]

President Biden issues preemptive pardons for Gen. Mark Milley, Dr. Anthony Fauci and members of the Jan. 6 committee https://t.co/oZl2emwSLw

[Brian Petty @bspetty24]

Y’all can tell me how good our D-line is but it will never be Derek Barnett good.

[Brian Petty @bspetty24]

Thought we were #PunterU tbh

[Brian Petty @bspetty24]

I’m old enough to remember @CFBPlayoff

[On3 @On3]

NEW: Georgia QB Carson Beck is expected to miss the College Football Playoff quarterfinals, @petenakos reports.

Beck has not been with the team since it returned to practice and workouts late last week.

https://t.co/wZPRH0NoSo

[🇺🇸ProudArmyBrat @leslibless]

Presidents, and the number of individuals that they have of pardoned, commuted, or rescinded:

- John F Kennedy: 575

- Lyndon B Johnson: 1,187

- Richard Nixon: 926

- Gerald Ford: 409

- Jimmy Carter: 566 people + 200K Vietnam War draft evaders

- Ronald Reagan: 406

- George H. W. Bush: 77

- Bill Clinton: 459

- George W Bush: 200

- Barack Obama: 1,927

- Donald Trump: 237

- Joe Biden: 8,062

……and he still has 36 days left!

[Brian Petty @bspetty24]

@gmannVOLS 11-1

[CFB Home @CFBHome]

#2 Texas, #8 SMU, #9 Indiana and #12 Miami are a combined 0-4 vs CURRENT CFP Top 25 Teams

[Chris Gordy @ChrisGordy]

Texas gets to the SEC Championship Game in Year 1 in the SEC.

And yet somehow avoided playing:
- Tennessee
- Alabama
- LSU
- Ole Miss
- South Carolina
- Mizzou

And they’ll avoid those same teams again next year. Let’s see if they can avenge their 15-point loss vs Georgia.

[gmannVOLS @gmannVOLS]

Neyland has lots of seats, lots of money 🤑🤑🤑

Big ole bags of money for you @CFBPlayoff 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑

[zach ragan @zachTNT]

This is how the same officiating crew from Tennessee/Georgia handled a late substitution last month in Ole Miss/Oklahoma game. Rebels were forced to call a TO bc the official held the snap to allow Oklahoma to slowly run off the field.