papa.palpatine

Welcome to the disassociation station

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

. "In a car, the journey becomes as important as the destination."

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

Yeah, we know how well that turned out

[Victor Baez | Club Ambition @itsavibe]

🥲 emotional moment when Jack Black surprises Tanner from Netflix's autism dating show Love On The Spectrum, one of his life goals was to meet him

[Wu Tang is for the Children @WUTangKids]

Apparently it is once again time to bring back the lesson on tariffs from Ferris Bueller

[Total Sports Kansas City @TSEKansasCity]

If Isiah Pacheco scores a touchdown and the Chiefs win SB LIX, we'll give an Isiah Pacheco autographed jersey to someone who reposts this post and follows us!

[verónica @soitfuckingoes]

THIS TO THE LOUVRE NOW

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

@FawkesOrigin SAME. My order just went through.

[Five Times August @FiveTimesAugust]

MAGA 2024: “I’m sick of seeing gay pride stuff everywhere…”

MAGA 2025:

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

posting this for no particular reason today

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

@Rjaecker @AOC @ADL The Roman salute was adopted in the 20th century by Fascist regimes like Mussolini’s Italy and Nazi Germany. Now widely linked to totalitarianism, it is considered offensive or illegal in many countries.

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

@kkiran @armankhon Most of the engineers are actually not US based so idk that this would work

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

@joshcolemanal @armankhon It’s so bad because all the “feedback” gets sent to a “bugs” team who just clicks a button to reply with an automated reply. There’s almost no way to escalate anything and it’s a total joke. - a former employee who did that

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

@FootprintCNTR @JeffLynnesELO Noooo I flew in my mom from Kansas City for this 😭

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

Also, I don’t normally take to Twitter to complain but DoorDash refused to take responsibility and your chat on the app and on the website is broken.

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

@ChipotleTweets I waited an hour for my order, the driver wouldn’t answer my calls or texts to make sure they weren’t lost and then when I get my food it’s all soggy (I had to drain my salad 4x) and everything is cold.
The little bit of lettuce in the two salads is wilted too.

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

@jimmyfallon Billie Jean Jacket #AddAWordRuinASong

[Awful Announcing @awfulannouncing]

"So, go ahead and enjoy women's sports like you would any other sports, because they are sports." - Venus Williams

"Except you, Harrison Butker. We don't need you." - Serena Williams

"At all. Like, ever." - Quinta Brunson #ESPYS

[The Lincoln Project @ProjectLincoln]

For those who can't imagine the death of American democracy, we imagined it for you. Watch here.

[Art Candee 🍿🥤 @ArtCandee]

Oh boy. Trump’s Doral rally tonight was a doozy. Let’s recap it:

He started off by bragging about his golf course instead of apologizing for being an hour late and leaving people waiting all day under a heat advisory.

He said he didn’t know what NATO was.

He bragged that “being indicted is a lot of fun.”

He claimed “tens of thousands” of people showed up to this sad little rally. He later said “45,000 people” when it barely looked like 2k people were there.

He froze like a deer in headlights for 10 straight seconds.

He praised Laura Loomer and repeatedly called her “amazing.”

He’s mad that Kamala Harris laughs and called her “L-a-f-f-i-n’ Kamala,” proving what we already knew that bro can’t spell.

He said he wants a “no holds barred” debate without moderators this week. Essentially the two of them screaming at each other. Super dumb idea. Especially when Biden is hosting the NATO summit.

He also challenged President Biden to a golf tournament this week when President Biden is busy meeting with NATO leaders and doing his job.

He said Biden “doesn’t know what a synagogue is.”

He thinks you have to stop electric cars every hour.

He complained about the heat only 16 minutes in, when those people waited all day and he still showed up an hour late.

He said someone told him that he looks “great in a bathing suit.” Barf.

He called the fictional Hannibal Lecter “a lovely man” and compared him to immigrants.

He said migrants are “preying on everybody.”

He forgot how to say “feared” and said “field.”

He said he’d be the “greatest president that God has ever created.”

He claimed Hunter Biden is running the country.

He babbled about facelifts.

He said he was going to bring Tom Homan back into his administration, a guy who helped author Project 2025 which he claims to know nothing about.

He claimed Biden has more homes than him.

He said we’ll become “energy independent” when we already are right now.

He complained some more about the hot weather.

He asked why “sweaty” golf caddies “never touched me, never hugged me, never kissed me.”

He made fun of Chris Christie’s weight while claiming he was standing up for him. Mighty rich.

He said the U.S. is turning into “communist Cuba or socialist Venezuela.”

He struggled to pronounce some of his sycophants’ names.

He called Don Jr. “a great talent” and that he has a “great wife” even though he’s not married to Kimberly Guilfoyle.

He said how much he loves his family showing up when his wife Melania and favorite daughter Ivanka didn’t even bother going.

He said “October 7th would not have happened” if he was President.

He said Israel “had no money.”

He said “we have nuclear submarines and five warships in Cuba,” essentially calling himself a Russian.

He said Biden has abandoned Cuba when he was the one who nixed Obama’s plan to reopen trade and travel to Cuba.

He said people get “shot, mugged, raped” when visiting the Washington Monument in DC.

He said he will protect the second amendment and “innocent life” in the same breath.

He told people to “vote whenever you want.”

He played a song performed by J6 insurrectionists and people who beat up police officers.

He read his teleprompter cue to speak quickly out loud.

He said that getting rid of energy efficiency in appliances will “keep our enemies at bay.”

He called the United States of America “a third-world country” and said we’re “a joke.”

He said President Biden “isn’t legally allowed to stand trial.”

He’s claiming that the stock market is high because of MAGA winning the election in November, and that it will crash like during the Great Depression if he loses.

He said it’s “easier to get fentanyl than groceries.”

He forgot how to say the word “economy.”

He said he’d rather take money from small dollar donors instead of the wealthy.

He said they’re “going to take over our Capitol.”

He lied like he breathes.

And we all know the media won’t cover HALF of this absolute train wreck.

[papa.palpatine @btloveskc]

@stopbeingmorons i know, i’m so mad