Ali Van

“That was almost really cool” -one sentence to describe my life.

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

@AmericanAir delayed my suitcase 16 DAYS AGO and I'm getting the run around as to where it is, now no one will answer me. Keep getting told "they'll call you back" Will never fly American Airlines again and you shouldn't either. This is ridiculous.

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

@AmericanAir where’s my luggage? Been on the phone for 1.5 hours trying to figure out why you’re saying I don’t have missing luggage when I don’t have it yet…. #notimpressed

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

@nottheIBMAI Omg same

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

went to a lugnuts game last night and promptly explained to the bartender the benefits of an old navy credit card, good to be back 🤪

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

Talking to two dudes on hinge who are both trying to pursue me by telling me how they’ll cook bacon for me every day #keepers 🥓

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

Anyone else call their smart home device “little bitch” when it doesn’t hear you ask it something or should I talk to my therapist...

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

do I keep talking to someone who doesn’t know the value of free guac? This feels like a deal breaker

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

so far being 27 means that when I take out my contacts at 4am as a crawl into bed, I have the maturity to put them on either side of my bed separate so I can figure out which one was right and left....

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

@dyerkels @nottheIBMAI Lolol what a tee

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

@nottheIBMAI Omg have to try that next!

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

@opeallberrys Omg what is it?!??

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

PSA: don’t say you work for Girl Scouts on dating apps 🍪

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

drunk Ali matched with dudes on hinge last night and now sober Ali has to deal with it....

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

A “let stand one minute in the microwave” minute is almost as bad as a one minute plank minute.

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

Me to my parents: “I love my new bedding! It’s so cozy I don’t even want to leave my bed!”

My dad: “.... well that’s nothing new....”
#roastedbymyowndad

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

My New Years resolution: no fuck bois 2021.

Me in my head: okay that gives me 6 more days to do whatever I want before I have to start *anew*

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

My dad every single year: “okay, I’m going to go downstairs to wrap!”

Me every single year: “ooooh can’t wait to hear your SICK BEATS!! 😎”

My dad every single year: “.......?”

#amithedad?

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

@ooopsallberrys I don’t know what that means but okay!!

[Ali Van @bubblebuddy235]

This weekend I discovered I’m the kind of people pleaser who lets the animated owl in animal crossing tell me about every fish before I donate it cause it seems to make him happy, and says no thank you for the insects cause he seems like he doesn’t want to...