The Life of the Market Maker
📝Origins
I was born and raised in poverty in a former communist country in Central Europe. I witnessed the last few years of communism and the decades-long Russian occupation. After the fall of the Berlin Wall, I lived through three decades of hardship as my nation struggled to adopt democracy and capitalism.
After 30 years, I left the country, and I have no intention to return. The truth is that while I have been away, the people who were the threads forming a loose connection to home are all gone. I no longer call my country a home; I am only a tourist.
Poverty runs deep in my roots. I still remember when my mum could only give me a slice of bread with margarine. I would throw tantrums in frustration while she tried to soothe me by drawing wavy lines in the margarine with a serrated knife.
We only ate bananas, oranges and fish (carp, nothing fancy) at Christmas - these were luxuries in our bare lives. As a child, I often felt ashamed that my school sandwich was quite plain while my classmates had tomatoes, peppers, salami, crisps and soft drinks.
Most Christmases I remember were filled with sorrow. Not just because my dad often ruined our moods, but also because there were seldom gifts under our tree, and some years no tree at all. Later, mum bought a cheap plastic miniature to ease our bitterness.
I grew up close to two of my four cousins, as we lived in an L-shaped building consisting of two houses to serve two families plus the elderly. So it was always painful to see how much more my cousins had. The same was true for my other two cousins who lived two streets away. At least I could numb my own deprivation by sharing in some of the joy and toys at my cousins' homes, even if some things were off-limits, leaving me only able to watch.
I can only remember one true inland family holiday and otherwise I spent most summers with my grandmother who lived in a village about 5 miles away. She lived an even poorer life than us in town. In order to bathe, she needed to fetch water from a well, and then heat it up on a wood-fired stove. But I loved to be there, away from the madness. She was the one who treated me the best after mum and it broke my heart when she passed away.
There was no escaping the feeling of poverty - everyone else seemed better off than us. As I got older, I realised my poor upbringing was mostly due to my dad siphoning away his earnings while my mother raised us alone on a minimum wage. He played little to no role in our lives besides making it painfully difficult.
He was busy with his full-time and other freelance jobs and saved up all the money for himself (we found out after he died). As a frequent pub-goer, he became an alcoholic which only led to ugly verbal and physical fights with my mum and my brother. Sometimes with other members of the family as well. I was just a silent spectator. A fragile, powerless kid.
By the time my mother retired, counting down the days, she was a complete mental wreck and a lifeless shell. If my dad's abuse wasn't enough, her tyrannical boss and later my miserable adult brother sucked the life out of her. Even my senile grandfather contributed to grinding her down.
It may sound harsh, but a part of me was relieved when she passed in 2020, just a few years after retiring. Her sad, unfulfilled journey serves as one of my most important life lessons.
I consider 2002 the year of breaking my ties and chains. It was a pivotal and symbolic moment when I boarded the coach departing for Denmark. It was 2 years before my country joined the European Union.
That journey changed my life. That's when the world opened up for me. It was also the first time I crossed the border to a distant country (well, on my scale) to the "West". Before that, I only visited Slovakia and Austria (neighbours) once or maybe twice.
Despite that my childhood was deprived and painful, I am grateful for growing up poor because it will always keep me grounded. Now, that I know how to build wealth, I turn the things I learned in poverty to my advantage.
Whilst that achievement of becoming wealthy awaits, it's comforting to know that it's only a matter of time. I've got no other duties, no other desires just to be financially free.
I either get there or die trying.
The Life Of The Market-Maker
📑Regrets
I have many memories of famous people being asked in interviews if they had any regrets in life or if they would do anything differently if given the chance. It's a common question that prompts these icons to reflect on their pasts.
The answer is usually a firm "no."
While I understand their perspective, I personally don't believe most people who claim to have no regrets are being completely honest with themselves. I don't feel ashamed admitting there were times in my life I wish I could redo or erase.
All of those instances were within my control, so there's no one or nothing else to blame for things not going as planned. Yes, there were decisions that altered my path in ways that negatively impacted my health and finances, but generally speaking, I put myself at a disadvantage that stalled my progress.
Unfortunately, I can't manipulate time or perform magic tricks to show you how my life may have differed had I chosen more carefully. Yet I firmly believe I would be in a much better place right now. More fulfilled and successful.
Here are some impactful decisions I made that I consider mistakes:
1997: Choosing agriculture over computer science as a career path
1998-2020: Bodybuilding
2002: Not changing careers when I had a good opportunity for a fresh start
2004 and 2011: Leaving Denmark
2004-2009: Taking out student loans and attending university
2015-2018: Adopting a fruitarian diet/lifestyle
2015-2017: Ignoring crypto
2017: Giving a successful product I created to my employer for free
2017-2021: Accumulating credit card debt
2018: Giving up a decent existence for a short-lived misadventure in Mongolia
Of course, not everything is black and white. There's good mixed in with the bad, and lessons learned that made me stronger and wiser, though at a cost. It's true I've gained immense experience over the decades, but ultimately, the negatives slightly outweigh the positives.
While it may not seem so, I'm confident and content now, and those unfortunate decisions didn't affect my current mindset. I'm someone who learns from mistakes and does everything possible not to repeat them. I'm blessed I didn't spend more years, if not decades, in the darkness and woke up at the right time, in the middle of my life's journey. I hope I inherited my grandfather's longevity genes as that would give me ample time to make things right going forward.
Sadly, most people live in a vicious cycle of bad choices they can never break free from. Old habits do indeed die hard.
In theory, it may be reassuring to think that had I decided differently, I wouldn't have become who I am today. But in my opinion, there's no use going down that rabbit hole. I'd rather focus on the missed opportunities - the fortune I could have made or the physical pain I could have avoided.
This is how I evolve: by embracing the bad, pulling it close, dissecting it to study and analyse, taking notes, and then letting it go.
@Diamonshenz@DivinelyDesined The lesser gods (bene elohim) of the divine council. The sons of God (of the Most High or “the” Elohim). Look up John 14:6 Youtube channel. The last 2 videos in particular.
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