Billy Bankrolls

i hate it here

[Billy Bankrolls @builtpoorly]

@NeillBlomkamp I rarely comment on anything anymore but Neill, I have to say - Congratulations!

This is genuinely the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Absolute fucking slop. I wish you nothing but continued failure and disappointment for the rest of your days 👍

[Cameron 🇺🇸 🗽🦅 @CameronCorduroy]

alhamdulillah for the woke wine moms of Northern Virginia, our ex-CIA girlboss governor, and the one and only Reverend Mother L. Louise Lucas

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

if u say no to pretzels, the flight attendant should give u something called a Coin of Restraint. while worth nothing now, these coins will play a major role in the afterlife

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

Two things can be true. Yes, broccoli is rich with nutrients and generally considered beneficial to the growing boy. Yet that does not grant my mother the power to override my sovereignty and force them in my mouth, even via airplane form.

[RJ Palmer 🔜 Dragon Con B9 @arvalis]

Stranger Things Season 5 "Chapter Eight: The Rightside Up". Directed by The Duffer Brothers

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

Friend: Hey man you feeling ok?

Me who’s secretly taking poison damage but trying to play it off: Yeah I’m good
-1 Ough
-1 Ow
-1 Oof
Just a little tired
-1 Nrgh
-1 Hah
-1 Oof
-1 Ghaah
-1 Kheh
-1 Augh
-1 Ough
Could I get some water?
-1 Augh
-1 Nrgh

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

If ketchup didn’t exist, I would put it on my nothingburger

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

Whales have a heart the size of a small car. Imagine if they learned the true meaning of Christmas

[onionweigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher]

Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by the ghost of his former business partner, Jeffrey Epstein.

[Riley Walz @rtwlz]

the US government is DOXXING santa's live location once again. probably with palantir's help. a man providing mutual aid to children, and the state treats him like a THREAT. the elves aren't unionized. we need to do better

[trevy @chillextremist]

Aragorn was really posted up inna corner chiefin that hoe! King shit…

[clare @sadderlizards]

how i look when i’m talking about my interests

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

You’re just jealous my wizard hat is pointier and of a far higher quality compared to yours

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

Fuck You

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

I have successfully managed to capture the soul of Shaquille O’Neal within this crystal