Greg Hammer

blocked by @caucasianjames

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

My toilet when I have diarrhea

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

All the girls in the whole world when I pull my pants down be like: “cutest penis ever!!!!”

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Mfs really don’t rock with kipper no more and it’s bullshit

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

@frankiemacd My buddy Luke did

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Me: “Somebody’s been calling you Davinkey”
Some fuckin idiot: “Davinkey who?”
Me: “Davinkey yo momma”
Tacobell: “Hahahahahahaha”

Ur welcome

This tweet was/is sponsored by and for certified badasses

#paidpartnership

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Allies in 4

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Male equivalent to girl’s period’s syncing is boy’s twitter babe algorithm’s becoming the same if they hangout for too long

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Just a sneak peak into my dark and twisted mind

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

A fish will always bite if you hold a worm in front of its face long enough

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

A fish will always bite if you hold a worm in front of its face long enough

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

my butthole is not my friend my butthole is not my friend my butthole is not my friend

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Okay smartass, where am I supposed to wash my balls then

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

me and max from Iowa used to practice fellatio on each other in the 4th grade #whatever

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

She Hoggin on my wart till I hermione in (h)er grange #viral

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Getting viciously high and watching dog man with my opp #pooperbowl

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Scrape in the wall at the gym is giving Saddam Hussein hiding spot

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Dudes I can’t stop spraying my cat pheromones all over the office, everyone’s either in love with me or wants to fight me. I need to stop spraying my cat pheromones all over the office.

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Chat is this gay

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

https://t.co/CUiI4pEQ4B
This and an 8th of mushrooms

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

Deadass playing cookie clicker the rest of the night. Don’t text

[Greg Hammer @bunwagon2]

*proposing to my girlfriend of 12 years*

Me: “Will you be the AJ to my Big Justice?”

My future wife; “Rizzlyes”

#winning