Seth Burden

BLM he/him

[Seth Burden @burden_seth]

Wow the joke I stole from Earnest Goes to Camp is my most popular tweet to date. God Bless

[EDK @energydrinkking]

y'all sexualized the word daddy too much my kids gonna have to call me the hilarious ross matthews

[Hustleberry Fin @Mj_The3rdPick]

This was for the fuckin Nutty Professor 2 soundtrack lol

[𝖒𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖓 𓃴 @madifawnzzz]

*touches your deodorant* please stop…. for me…?

[@ratlimit @ratlimit]

Why is it called “no-fault divorce”, when there is almost always a child at fault?

[Bussy Keaton @BussyKeaton]

Wasn't he JUST complaining that he's typecast as a screeching queeny gay guy?

[Seth Burden @burden_seth]

@newgamertag yayy! no polyps!

[Dante @lumina_sunt]

Sorry for not making a move, my parents had a loveless marriage and I’m scared.

[Seth Burden @burden_seth]

@BecomingABear idk what these words mean but i love this for u

[Jeff Zhang 张佶润 @strangeharbors]

One of the funniest to ever live stuck in the body of a piece of shit fascist

[Toro @omgheytoro]

Películas donde el padre vuelve después de 20 años a una isla a encontrarse con su primogénito que no lo reconoce

[Seth Burden @burden_seth]

@RickyPDillon @Dallycatstrike me. i do.

[𝖓𝖆𝖟 ꒰ঌ ໒꒱ @nazzygirlxx]

you’re on thick ice. i love you

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

Police DO NOT prevent crime; they respond to it. Crime is prevented by higher wages, guaranteed health care, food security, high-quality child care, housing, good schools, and addiction treatment.

[Cal @wyattyhalpert]

“They should have special screenings that prohibit phone use in cinemas!”

We do. It’s called every single one of them, until you weirdos forgot or decided you were above that basic and very functional agreement

[Nigel @meatheadsaiyan]

Omg they should make a Scruff for single guys

[Lee Thee Jinchurikī @Lee_FinalVer]

Being attracted to Kevin James as a kid and not knowing he was apart of my bear awakening

[HorseSlug🐌 @horsebone2]

I'm fat and gay and this is a good thing

[Seth Burden @burden_seth]

@freakinrican_ i am

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

Beer is amazing, I can't believe we have a human tradition going back ten thousand years of crafting a beverage that makes you get kicked out of Moana