christian b. schmidt

boop boop! 🚀

[christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt]

@jimmymontague69 @steelyvideo it’s a glamour profession
the l.a. concession

[Horse ebooks @Horse_ebooks]

Everything happens so much

[Matthew Goldin @matthewgoldin]

I love throwing away all the extra Thanksgiving food the next morning.

[Zach Raffio @zachraffio]

Ghostface is not returning for ‘SCREAM 7’

(Source: DEADLINE)

[nathan fielder @nathanfielder]

Congrats to the actors of the world

[Eric Moneypenny @EricMoneypenny]

Tonight's BITHOLE at the @PackTheater is gonna be nuts!!! 40+ people doing characters, impressions, clowning, fun stuff, and weird stuff! Get your tickets here:
https://t.co/FHduYD9M4u

[cory snearowski @corysnearowski]

You ratted on my uncle in 1978 and he gets out of jail tonight

[charlie @chunkbardey]

4 times 3 being 12. that is a classic

[Hunter @Wolffe104]

Hot Wheels cars killing and ramming each other, sucking and fucking making love emotionally, getting all fucked up and war torn, facing consequences for their actions, battling depression and guilt. Sucking and fucking getting all sucked and fucked (emotional)

[christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt]

i’m not even looking at my 600 tweets i’m just blind scrolling they mean nothing to me

[christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt]

.@caitlinibot: "cane’s 👏 gets 👏 you 👏 pregnant 👏 with cane’s 👏so 👏 that 👏 you 👏 will 👏 want 👏 more 👏 cane’s!"

[TRAFON(s Backup Account) @RiseFallNickBck]

Bikini Bottom can be a rough place to live.

[christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt]

my fiancée was playing tears of the kingdom during her company’s big zoom layoff this morning

[christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt]

@caitlinibot

[christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt]

therapist: hot mario isn’t real he can’t hurt you

hot mario:

[Supper Mario Broth @MarioBrothBlog]

Promotional 2003 "Hot Mario" poster from Japan.

[christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt]

inventing a new kind of thing called Scary Boat

[Jo @JoniWitchell]

I got that (hot)dog(s) in me.

[christian b. schmidt @c_b_schmidt]

@caitlinibot her friend running late for their mcdonald’s luncheon

[Ultima @UltimaShadowX]

I wanted to get a milkshake today and asked the McDonald's drive thru what flavor the Grimace shake was and she just responded "Grimace."

[Cat McGee @catmcgee]

@NasheedWallace Yesterday I was walking to an interview. There was a starving dog on the road. I stopped to feed him & missed the interview. The next day I got a call asking to come in to do the interview. I was surprised, but I went. Then the interviewer came in. He was the dog.