It’s election week! At this important moment I would like to address your entire planet with a message to the people of Earth. And I think I found the perfect place to do it.
People of Clacton! Show your support for me by putting a bin outside your house, one day this week, of a colour of Tendring Council's choice. This will be unequivocal proof of the success of my campaign.
It somehow sums up our current Government that the Prime Minister came out to announce the election, and nobody, not one person in Downing Street, noticed it was raining, and considered that maybe the PM should wear a coat, or stand under an umbrella. Comical incompetence.