Cael

who careeessssssss

[Cael @cael_hamel]

@Dexerto Teen charged for being too good at dodgeball

[Cael @cael_hamel]

@theipaper

[Cael @cael_hamel]

@ashtonyeater @DrSquatchSoapCo genuinely have no idea who this person is

[Cael @cael_hamel]

The worst part about having the Bee Movie memorized is no one lets me recite the full thing.

[Cael @cael_hamel]

If USA could leave Amazon reviews on Benedict Arnold

September 24th, 1780
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Delivers strong results. Shows real initiative and leadership when it matters most. Continues to help secure key victories that boost morale. Brings energy, bold decision making, and commitment to the cause. A very reliable contributor.

*2 days later*
⭐️☆☆☆☆
DO NOT RECOMMEND. Huge letdown and trust breaker. Performance was solid at first but reliability tanked. Would not trust again.

[Cael @cael_hamel]

Just saw a movie about a guy named Michael Jackson. Man does he care about kids what a wholesome thoughtful guy!

[Cael @cael_hamel]

Life in NYC:

*walks past poop on the ground*

*walks past garbage everywhere*

*walks past scabby homeless person*

* @CelsiusOfficial pop up giving away new flavor.*

Me: THIS IS THE BEST CITY IN THE F*CKING WORLD.

[Cael @cael_hamel]

*Goes up to stranger in NYC*

Me: "I like your dress"

Her: "Sorry I'm gay"

Me: "I like your gay dress"

[Cael @cael_hamel]

I saw this tweet cold approached a girl and peed myself

[Cael @cael_hamel]

A girls hinge prompt:
One thing you should know about me is: Actions speak louder than words.

My response:
🙌👋🙏🤝👌 (me asking you out in ASL)

[Cael @cael_hamel]

I deleted twitter and stopped tweeting for a minute but @BrandonM27394

I'm back for you!

[Brandon Mead @BrandonM27394]

@cael_hamel Is this shit genuinely supposed to be funny? Lmao.

[Brandon Mead @BrandonM27394]

@cael_hamel Bro is this supposed to be funny? I'm confused

[Brandon Mead @BrandonM27394]

@cael_hamel "blanky" man grow up. and like you would ever have a gf 😂😂😂

[Cael @cael_hamel]

*Matches with girl on Hinge*

Me: I am going to have to arrest you for being that cute.

Her: I'm sorry officer. I didn't realize it was a crime, what can I do to make it up to you?

Me: 🔫 💥BANG💥 BANG💥BANG 💥BANG 💥

[Cael @cael_hamel]

*Gf and I in bed together*

Me: *Turns thermostat to 82*

Her: Wtf turn it down

Me: *turns thermostat to 81*

Me: can you pass me my blanky

[Cael @cael_hamel]

What my grandfather said after being deployed in Vietnam

[ludwig @LudwigAhgren]

the bushes were people ????

[Cael @cael_hamel]

Hunter Biden not being in the Epstein files because he wasn't playing those childish games.

He was doing CRACK.

[Cael @cael_hamel]

Elon tweeting like a 14 year old on IG

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Whoever said “money can’t buy happiness” really knew what they were talking about 😔

[Cael @cael_hamel]

How Stephen Hawking was moving on Epstein's Island