jesse 🦈

🏳️‍🌈 star trek lesbian. jorts enthusiast. any pronouns

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

mom if you’re reading this I’m straight please don’t read my tweets

[kels 🐞 NOAH IN 5 DAYS @nashndiaz]

gay friend: I'm gay.

depressed friend: I'm depressed.

that one gay depressed friend you try to ignore: have you been watching the artemis 2 moon mission updates

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

@sarahtonin_bby you may know this but you can livestream pro women's hockey for free on the official PWHL youtube channel!! I randomly got recommended a game a bit ago and I watched the entire thing despite knowing nothing about hockey. the women have enormous biceps and there was even a fight

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

@sarahtonin_bby upside down you get BOObg

[Scoob @Scoobydouchebag]

We are the sons of the Hamburger you couldn't Help

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

I cut my own hair most of the time and people always ask, “But how do you do the back?” It’s easy. I simply don’t do a good job.

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

@violet_octopi still alive! spending less time on twitter dot com lol. been watching severance and getting real into oatmeal lately. exciting stuff

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

was planning on ignoring the cfb championship but unfortunately everything else is worse

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

@knittedlapras ridiculous. throw the whole film in the trash

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

@knittedlapras WHAT??????

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

I understand now that god is punishing BYU fans for their sins. thinking of never watching football again and spending my days petitioning for cross country to be televised

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

byu should try playing a football game that doesn't come down to a desperate drive with 2 minutes left on the clock

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

@the_bradpad 🤔

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

@the_bradpad i'm sorry bradley but i'm just not interested

[U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service @USFWS]

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND GO BUY A DUCK STAMP TO HELP SAVE WETLANDS AND WILDLIFE!

Sorry about the yelling, it's just that when the new Federal Duck Stamp goes on sale, we get really excited.

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

theyre probably talking about some bullshit that isn't trains

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

not watching the debate, have they asked about trains yet?

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

meanwhile sufjan stevens gets to be gay for jesus and john the disciple. this is so unfair

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

not enough people are talking about how patriarchy and sexism take away your ability to do religious homoeroticism as a lesbian. there are like 3 women in the bible do i have to be gay for mother mary

[jesse 🦈 @cal_ess]

"normalize asking for people's pronouns" normalize putting spotlights on people and asking "YOU TRANS? TRANSGENDER?"