Cal Post

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

GRANDMA MARTHA - a new spooky horror short by ol’ Huntybits. Full film here: https://t.co/hLeyrCT2LV

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

In these divisive times, it’s important to remember that whatever you’re celebrating this holy weekend, it never really happened. 👍

[Nick Beaton @Nick_Beaton]

The whole staff?!

[Nick Beaton @Nick_Beaton]

What started WW3 grandpa?

A fucking balloon. Take your potassium capsules.

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

Marvellous festival that celebrates genre films - put on your Hulk gloves, venture out and feed your inner geek if you’re in Toronto Feb 12-14!

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

Apple Music censored the word “honkey” in my track list. How else am I to describe this bit is about an ornery goose caught in a traffic jam?! Meanwhile, kids are out there writing entire songs about makin’ whoopee! And I can’t say HONKEY??? #HonkeyGate

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

As kids we're offered an oyster or blue cheese and go “it’s stinkyyy.” You grow up, it's like “can I have a plate of everything that tastes of pussy, ass and feet, please? If you could melt the feet OVER the pussy, that’d be great. I need my burps to smell like a Salvation Army."

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

Sure, sex is good, but have you ever fucked a whole bunch for 9 days straight without stopping to take a sip of water, letting the dehydration take over and conjuring a fevered mirage of the crimson phoenix who implores you to seek the optimal permutation of your true potential?

[Nick Beaton @Nick_Beaton]

It took NASA 25 years to do the first thing they suggested in Armageddon that they said wouldn’t work.

[Nick Beaton @Nick_Beaton]

With the rise of Italy's far right party lead by a woman and thrown on the pile of Marjorie Taylor Green, Lauren Boebert, and the old school Sarah Palin, we can all agree that if women ran the world there would still be equal parts garbage.

[Cal Post @calpost]

Hey @WestJet you just changed my return flight home to a day earlier! You’re stealing my last vacation day you criminals. Also pay your staff better. Did you know flight attendants only start getting paid after take off when the wheels go up. You’re scum @WestJet

[Nick Beaton @Nick_Beaton]

It’s obviously obligatory that Biden would go to pay respects to the queen. But it’s pretty weird that he leaned over the coffin and muttered “I’ll see you in hell.”

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

COMEDIAN SMASHES #PATRIARCHY IN UNDER A MINUTE. You don’t put the act-outs on the album! Here’s one from the snuff film editing floor.

“Hunter Collins Goes To Hell” from @ComedyRecords now playing on Sirius XM’s @JFLCanada (ch.168) and Raw Dog @SiriusXMComedy (ch.99)!

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

Streaming everywhere today, “Hunter Collins Goes To Hell” - comedy for sinners that burns from the nebulous meniscus between suffering and ecstasy! These jokes float, baby. EVERYTHING floats down here… and once you hit ‘play’, YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!

https://t.co/NXkoqNvaXp

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

Jeffrey Dahmer, necrophilia, bestiality, McChickens - it’s all on here!

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

Here’s the story of how I tried to make an album for the little guy. And his teeny wife. And their puny children. Album comes out tomorrow!
https://t.co/g4ZQVdxY19

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

If I had a sex robot, I wouldn’t give it a human name, like Shirley or Lashandra. No. I’m laying pipe to Fucktron 4000. #MeetYourTwinSisterCyberhole

[Hunter Collins 𖤐 🇸🇦🇮🇷🇫🇲⛳️🏴‍☠️ @Hunter_Collins]

Gotta count myself among the boneriffic for having an album cover done by the inimitable @FlookoTheArtist!

[Nick Beaton @Nick_Beaton]

I think I got a different email from the Rogers CEO than you guys did. He basically just told me that he fucked my wife, and that he was going to do it again.

[Nick Beaton @Nick_Beaton]

Remember to check and see if your JFL offer went to your spam folder.