chamomile

a waffle fry in the making | she/they

[JD Flynn @jdflynn]

buddy, I was writing 10 page papers without having read the book.

[Nate @thenatewolf]

Wife got bit by a zombie but hasn't turned yet. She wants to hop in bed for one more go and see how close to the edge we can ride it. I'm down to try because I love her (she is my wife).

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

Oh no cocaine for me I just wanted to be in this tiny bathroom with my friends

[Christopher Hooks @cd_hooks]

Consider what we would feel justified doing to another country if their Air Force killed a hundred elementary school girls in Cleveland

[wim o. 😸🎹 @nyannibalizm]

the new 7 deadly sins are
Gluttony (phone addiction)
Greed (doordash)
Envy (FOMO)
Sloth (Cancelling plans)
Lust (polyamory)
Pride (thirst trapping) and
Wrath (ragebaiting)

[ese 🍃 @fw_ese]

i should be way more tattooed than i am

[st☆rgirl @ashtancx4]

on some shit jehovah ain’t even witness

[ali 𑣲 @ibuprofenbarbii]

me when i mess up: u stupid bitch u just ruined ur entire life everyone hates u u can't do anything right ever

me when i succeed: okay

[kev joon @never_oppressed]

What’s the opposite of an Irish Goodbye? The one where I’ve been standing around and talking to someone for over an hour after I said I’m leaving?

[g a b y @gabydvj]

my super bowl party full of women was shocked appalled and terrified by the backstreet boys karaoke coinbase ad. textbook example of scaring the hoes. you people should be ashamed of your yourselves

[ravn @mfnravn]

i’m gonna mindlessly hold this blunt and not pass it to you while i say this

[golden 🌼 @goldensflowers]

adhd is so funny why am i procrastinating playing a video game. that i want to play

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Shaggy, exhaling bong smoke: you ever feel like too much can happen to a person scoob. Like Too much tragedy. No amount of therapy or medication or self medication can fix it. It’s just like. In your bones man.

Scooby inhaling 13 foot sandwich: Res.

[que sera. @broztitute]

There’s an old saying in Tennessee I know it’s in Texas probably in Tennessee

[zoë @zoeloveshouses]

if you're an ICE agent do me a favor and kill yourself

[daz @MetamateDaz]

i cannot stress enough how important it is to lie to your coworkers

[ً @prinkasusa]

“30 is so old.” you’ve only been here for three decades. in two of them, you couldn’t drink, rent a car, or even be fully responsible for yourself. please wake up. you are a FRESH flower in the garden of life

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

How it feels watching people who get Christmas to New Year off.