Cameron Slade

[Karli Marulli @karlimarulli]

trump: *waking up* wheres joe biden?
surgeon: who do you think gave you the ear 💕

[R/PD Macy & Bruno @Macyadventures]

My mum went to a friends funeral today, my mum wore bright colours at her friends request.

My mum was sat in the service surrounded by everyone wearing black.

My mum went to the wrong funeral.

My mums friends funeral is next Friday.

Anyone want my mum.

[Ryzo @iRyzo]

"who are you going for pints with?"

[The Culturist @the_culturist_]

But in the early days, Americans prioritized great architecture for the very purpose of inspiring citizens.

As Sir Christopher Wren once said, great public buildings are "the ornament of a country" - a way to establish a nation.

[McLaren Mastercard Formula 1 Team @McLarenF1]

YES! FIRST PODIUM OF 2024! 🏆

@LandoNorris brings home P3 in Melbourne! 🧡

#AusGP 🇦🇺

[Cameron Slade @Cameronslade989]

@AusHCMalaysia @ourANU Hello, when do you check your PO Box as I have had a letter there for 2 weeks now which has not been collected?

It is very urgent and would be great if you could collect it and process it asap.

[Cameron Slade @Cameronslade989]

@AusHCMalaysia Hello? Please could you respond to my other tweet. I’ve been trying to contact you

[Cameron Slade @Cameronslade989]

@AusHCMalaysia @AlboMP @anwaribrahim Hello, when do you check your PO Box as I have had a letter there for 2 weeks now which has not been collected?

[John Rich @JohnRichTV]

Arguably the most incriminating photo in the history of photos

[Max Wright @dmaxwright]

As Gregg Wallace is trending

[Paul Kirkley @prkirkley]

You okay, babe? You've barely scanned your King Charles cancer QR code.

[Gus The Fox @GusTheFox]

“You have to go to Odesa to operate a minesweeper or I’m stopping your fucking pension”
#conscription

[HiCo 🔻 @High_Command]

So the British propoganda machine is trying to make attractive the idea of #conscription by calling it a "citizen army" and saying that we should send a big enough army to Europe to act as a deterrent to ensure there won't ever be a war.

Where have I heard that before?

[juju 💰 @ayeejuju]

girls groupchat vs boys groupchat

[Ava-Santina @AvaSantina]

Nadhim Zahawi, multi millionaire and potential chair of the Telegraph, has charged the taxpayer for driving around his constituency.

Normal people of course have to pay their own way to work.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Went on a blind date with someone I had a one night stand with as a student. She completely forgot, and I'm glad as we're now engaged. She would never have accepted if she remembered me, because I took £30 out of her purse for a taxi as I was skint and never called her

[Cameron Slade @Cameronslade989]

America never fails to amaze me with its levels of cringe

[DJ Akademiks @Akademiks]

In Houston rich dudes are having “bottle wars” meaning they buy expensive liquor and instead of drinking it pour it out to flex on other dudes in the club.

[The Darya Desk @TheDaryaDesk]

@InternetH0F Here it is. He says "Cindy and I are breaking up" - then proceeds with the review of Laphroaig 10 Year Single Malt Scotch, which he tells us has been his go-to single malt - it's a "no compromise" Malt, he assures us.