DrunkTweet

get schwifty my friends.

this is a satire account.

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@Rothmus

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@ryangrim I wish the government could make things more expensive.

I hate it when the president does things that make my political party look bad. Especially when it's stuff that saves me money!

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@elonmusk It's time to revive Vine!

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@ryangrim Hi Ryan. I gotta be honest with you, I don't watch those videos on purpose. They're heart breaking and I can't handle hearing the information. It's not because of the algorithm. There's only so many times I can hear details of bulldozers running over piles of people...

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@mostlypeaceful

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@BoeingSpace Glad it's going so smoothly! If only you didn't completely screw over those astronauts! Golly gee! Can't wait for the next update on your flying paperweight.

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@jamudd Remember when Hillary said she never left home without hot sauce?

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@angela4LNCChair Cat people have toxoplasmosis

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@TPostMillennial People don't want to send their son's to die at the bidding of multinational corporations.

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@Partisangirl @TheLaurenChen One of the foundations of the Christian faith is forgiveness. Love your enemies. The last time Christians really flexed we got a few hundred years of crusades. I'm not sure that would help the situation in today's world.

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@JillianMichaels @VigilantFox Spoiler alert: the goal is not tolerance or respect. The goal is to gaslight and cause division. And it's working perfectly.

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@mehdirhasan

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@TruthTowerPod @ComicDaveSmith You guys remember when @RealAlexJones said Sandyhook was fake? And the Sandyhook people sued him for a billion $? Gosh that was pretty wild stuff, huh?

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@GavinNewsom How's the bullet train coming along, Gavin? I heard even the French socialists abandoned your project because California was too dysfunctional and corrupt. "Oof" as the kids would say.

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@GavinNewsom Hey, Greasy Gavin! Go take a walk down Skid Row and then think about who deserves criticism and who doesn't.

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@ericweinstein You convince the sane & moderate people to leave so the only ones left are the crazy radicals that will go along with your crazy ideas. Imagine an entire state as crazy as the city of Portland and there ya go

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@thevivafrei @MarkHamill The last Jedi sucked!

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@lifeisfrequency @Cancelcloco Was the cop from Uvalde?

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@Riley_Gaines_ @BillboardChris Politicians send their kids to very exclusive private schools. Your problems do not apply in that world.

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@shellenberger Can we just break up with Europe already?

Maybe we could start dating South America? She's way hotter and lives on our side of town.