CaptainTouchback

I make a lot of money ruling the NFL. I enjoy watching great athletes take a knee in the endzone. This is a parody account. Follow me or I will fine you.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

First NFL coach to be fired?

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

@jessi_cawein44g Pls

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

When they ask if you wanna Wang Chung tonight…just say no.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

From the end of one play to the snap of the next…Kirk does not shut up. @czabe

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

Putting them AI chips to good use.

[Snicklink @snicklink]

Jensen Huang in: Three's Company 🥰

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

The thing I want to know and should be fully exposed is: how did the likes of Biden, Pelosi, McConnell, etc. amass generational wealth on their Congressional salaries? Nobody seems to want to touch this.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

Another ghost of a chance. @PaulCharchian @czabe

[Sphere @SphereVegas]

DUE TO OVERWHELMING DEMAND, 5 additional RUSH shows have been added at Sphere!

June 15, 17, 19, 24, 26

Artist Presale registration for the newly announced dates is available now at https://t.co/Q5U4b2B6rI. Fans who previously registered can access tickets for all dates now.

Tickets for all dates go on sale to the general public on Fri, Nov 13 starting at noon. Please note on sale start times will be staggered depending on show date.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

@Steven_Hyden Nice review. Where does the rank in U2 discography? Or is that meaningless at this point in the U2 universe.

[Little Enos Burdette 🇺🇸 @plumber_vol]

In honored of Veterans Day tomorrow, the kids at UT are painting the Rock in The Missing Man Formation. Thank you parents for raising fine young men and women.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

@SGSFOX We live in the greatest form of government in the world and it’s still an overflowing port-a-John.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

There’s a pool and a pod. Pod’s good for you.

[Russell Smith @Russell___Smith]

So we are doing “pools” now instead of “pods“? Can we at least be consistent on the vocabulary if not the criteria?

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

@JaredStillman @Titans I think there’s a gas leak in your studio.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

The @rockhall has made itself a punchline. Don’t blame any inductees for going, but certainly don’t blame any for not showing up and feeding that self-important beast.

[dee @alivedemo]

a bit disappointed but i gotta say, this is a very rnr list

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

They need to let that go in one ear and right out the other. @CageTheElephant

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

@DelmarHaase I turned the channel. Not on a high horse. I just don’t care for his act. I don’t find him entertaining.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

Get Pat McAfee off my TV!

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

Priceless
@StanfordSteve82 “You know what we’ve got next Monday night? Garbage.”

@notthefakeSVP “Damn, bro. We’re trying to get people to watch the game”.

Nobody else at @espn gets away with this. LOL.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

Not to be a broken record, but with Kirk, the #Vikings are a Super Bowl contender. Their defense is that good.

Without him, they might not make the playoffs. Their QB room is that bad.

The Vikings are wasting one of the best defenses in the last several years.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

#Vikings to Kirk Cousins right now.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

#Vikings to Kirk Cousins right now.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

#Vikings looking at Kirk Cousins.

[CaptainTouchback @CaptTouchback]

@mikefreemanNFL Rams may be at a “disengage the saucer section” level of panic.