Cara Michelle Smith

(i don’t use twitter anymore.) finance reporter & satire writer. work in @newyorker @salon @nerdwallet @theonion @marketwatch @mcsweeneys @reductress + more.

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

✌🏻 More or less bidding farewell to Twitter! I’m @carachute on IG & I’m a pretty chill follow. My brain is so happy I’m finally typing this sign-off. Why? Because this place is bad for brains. Happy Sunday, have a wonderful week, and protect your big beautiful brains! 🧠💚

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

Breaking my three-year twitter hiatus to say: if they run Buttigieg as the VP, all the campaign signs would be “HARRIS BUTTIGIEG” and we could spray paint them to say “HARRI BUTT”

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

If you’ve seen SKINAMARINK without fleeing the theater you would’ve been fine in Desert Storm

[Charlie Warzel @cwarzel]

it’s all renaissance paintings tonight

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

fact: The Other Two is gay 30 Rock

[Lillian Stone @originalspinstr]

BEHOLD: the cover for EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE, my disgusting debut essay collection from @deystreet! it’s packed with Y2K humiliation 💋 in fact, if you pre-order it *right now* + post your receipt, i will assign you one (1) humiliating Y2K moment https://t.co/jtraNChxkJ

[jordan @JordanUhl]

The CEO-to-worker pay ratio at Home Depot is 455:1.

https://t.co/2ekpb3oYfs

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

Making it a matter of public record that my wild card bet for the 2024 Democratic Presidential nominee is none other than Prince Harry

[Travis Herzog ⚡️ @TravisABC13]

HOUSTON: The arctic blast arriving Thursday will be different than what hit in February 2021. It will present its own unique set of challenges including the possibility of a “flash freeze.” NOW is the time to prepare, and here are some thing you can do. A 🧵 1/

[FLOOD Magazine @floodmagazine]

In lieu of racking up women & money like equally material possessions, @brckhmptn opted to explore their psyches as outcasts, addicts, mourners, and tough guys who didn’t always like their impulse to be tough guys | https://t.co/VO8L9cvjwo

📷 by @lapommedeterre & @thisisminnow

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

@_BlackerMamba thank you king! the universal appeal of boobies is not lost on me! (yet another thing John & I have in common)

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

I wrote about the complicated experience of being a woman & queer person who loves hip-hop, and how @brckhmptn carved out a joyful, saturated sanctuary in a genre that (at least in the mainstream) often doesn't love us back. 💛💛

For @floodmagazine: https://t.co/ET51u865JS

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

a massive thanks to @lizzzzzielogan for helping me get this off the ground! 💫

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

so, she was forced to play in Russia because of systemic sexism. then, when she got imprisoned, nobody cared because of that same systemic sexism (and loads of racism & homophobia, ofc). my god. IT’S SO SHITTY!

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

THANK GODDDDD she’ll be coming home. the lack of national concern over her entrapment in Russia was so shitty though. imagine if Kevin Durant was imprisoned in Russia for 10 months? it’s all we’d talk about.

[ESPN @espn]

US officials: Russia frees WNBA player Brittney Griner in prisoner swap, with US releasing Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout.

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

even more disgusting is the reason Griner was in Russia: because so many women have to play overseas during their off-seasons because they make $0 playing basketball in the US.

[Amanda Hess @amandahess]

We’re asking readers to not engage in any @nytimes platforms tomorrow and stand with us on the digital picket line! Read local news. Listen to public radio. Make something from a cookbook. Break your Wordle streak.

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

@jakeprizant_ these resolutions make so much sense, considering how much you talk about your “virility” and “muscled male progeny.” happy for you ❤️

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

this is not a person vomiting — this is a person who loooooves broccolini & is eating it so quickly it hurts :(

[Cara Michelle Smith @caramichelles]

@jenaesitzes this is heartbreaking. so happy your job's safe for now, but holy hell. sending you a big hug ❤️❤️❤️