CarisaGetsIrritated

I like comedy & smart things. And robots. Oh yeah, eating feels good. So does cumming. Very interested in what people think they've learned from bios

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

@adamcarolla how can you shit on the wetness of the Italian flavor of Margherita while defend the wetness of a soggy Hawaiian 😔

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

@ARIYNBF
Watching 48 Hours to see @DanielQuantz ‘s name on a book he worked on with a guy found guilty of a horrific murder 😂 #jmoe

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

@adamcarolla the weird purple hibiscus tea is just called “passion tea”, not passion fruit tea. still terrible but it’s not passion fruit :/

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

@Dameshek you merely mentioned Allagash Curieux on #goodsports & I came. Hands down favorite beer 😍

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

@billburr omg @alt_J is the shiiiit!! Glad you found this. Even live, amazing music! 😍

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

@DawsAngeles it was really nice meeting you (again) Saturday night :)

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

@VinnieTortorich little sis had gallbladder removed so processing fats is tough. Advice/tips if she wants to start NSNG but without fats?

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

@drdrew
I use correct > right/yes when being clear w/ directions or to reduce confusion when answering affirmatively to a negative question

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

Turns out in DTLA, the hobos think I'm one hot piece of ass!! Suck on that haters!
#knowyourrole
#LAtreasures

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

If the Cathy comic strip became a sitcom, they'd cast an Indian girl & call it the Mindy Project.
#stupidobservations

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

The United States just became the world's Florida 😂😂
#USElection2016
#ElectionNight

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

@NikkiGlaser Disparate Youth by @Santigold is the shit!! 😍

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

For no real reason, the Perfect Strangers theme song is stuck in my head. Think I read somewhere it means I'm having a stroke
#ihaveproblems

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

@adamcarolla @AdamCarollaShow
Things that sound better than they are:
Athlete's foot

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

How blond homeless women keep their roots touched up is one of life's greatest mysteries
I clearly sweat the important stuff

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

Short girls wear heels & no one notices. I wear heels & all of a sudden I'm a drag queen.
#firstworldproblems

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

I like to think of myself as an optimist. After I cum, I walk around with my eyes half open
#positivethinking

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

Top 3 things to take pics w/ to seem pretty fucking cool:
1. sedated animals
2. African children
3. yourself in the bathroom mirror
#goals

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

The #DMV falls somewhere between #Walmart and #Hell
#killmenow 😲🔫

[CarisaGetsIrritated @carisaCGI]

Add *tits & legs* and we pretty much got my body up there 😂
#neverskipabday
#LAtreasures @… https://t.co/jaiS42cfya