carly ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

starting a metalcore band with my grandma

[Single Female Doctor @Dijonbimble]

Binoculars finally came in the mail, went to look for the hawk and he was crouched in a tree looking back at me with slightly more expensive binoculars

[Chris E. Teigen @ChrisETeigen]

Trump has made living so unaffordable that I’m going to have to downgrade from LGBTQ+ to LGBTQ with ads.

[Faeni 🧚‍♀️🤎 @FeeneeWeenee]

Me when love is embarassing merely because of ego and it wouldnt be embarassing if you realized that the purpose of love AND love itself cannot intrinsically prioritize the ego. All the stupid shit you've done for love is beautiful. It was an act of selflessnes.

[ER!S @bstract_thot]

if you were in Spain being publicly executed for a crime you didn't comit and you started begging for your life before the uncaring crowd, would you use the respectful "ustedes" or the more casual "vosotros" ?

[Owain @orhunt]

whenever a pepito* post goes viral I am reminded of possibly one of my favourite tweets of all time

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

friend: did you read that article I sent you about the negative effects of too much phone screen time? apparently the surgeon general gave like, a warning about blue light and ….
me *no longer listening*: hmm…sturgeon general…

[Dr Pepper @drpepper]

I like dr pepper.
april fools!
i love it

[Louise Jensen Duffy (also Ernest Jensen) @LouiseWeebe]

I threw my dog a ball. Extravagant I know, but she looks gorgeous in an evening gown.

[Weekday Jokes @weekdayjokes]

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “What’s your blood type?”

“I’m probably a type O,” said the rabbit

[hayden starfighter✨ @rotsoka]

HE WON (im not from new york)

[Carly Incontro @carlyincontro]

politics down so bad im excited about a mayoral election 2,000 miles away