Caroline Zackerman

[serena shahidi @glamdemon2004]

They should invent a macbook without crumbs in it

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

We haven’t seen a Duke go out like that since Franz Ferdinand

[ravn @mfnravn]

what if i donate my body to science and they go like "wow, we can’t use this"

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

it's time to give that baby monkey a gun

[quinn @friedpilled]

eyes are strained from being on the puter all day

[alex turntine @turntineforwhat]

hello sharks today I am seeking a way out besides through

[sandy @satosgs]

he’s kinda giving gob but good for her

[Abril🧋 @chicacarpincho]

No me quiero poner chomskiana pero la gramática universal inherente propia del ser humano que le permite adquirir como lengua madre cualquier idioma del mundo aún teniendo estímulos imperfectos emocionaaaaaaaaaa

[m @skitzocat]

i hate when there's something i should do

[love(r) @lovescritos]

si escuchan un ruido soy yo golpeándome la cabeza contra la pared preguntando por qué

[chase @_chase_____]

the person who invented bowling: “oh and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. clown shoes”

[schizzy ☆ @crybabybuick]

How am I supposed to relax when there are things

[venus 🪷. @r0segardenn]

showering at night is so sexy and clean and self care vibes. showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

[owen cyclops @owenbroadcast]

yeah my kitchen sink has two basins. pretty cool. good thing ive arbitrarily designated one as the good basin and one as the forbidden other basin

[mia @httpsosweet]

i'm feeling really mean and toxic. which means i need to go wash my hair

[jerry the junebug @jerry_junebug]

feeding the mouth that bites me

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

The glug glug glug sound when you pour from a big bottle, that’s not real. They add that.

[calvin westra @filet_o_calvin]

rats will avoid actions
that hurt others
even if it earns them a treat

[jbolina jolie @pastapilled]

I wish I had a doctor boyfriend so I could send him pics of apples when I'm mad at him