Carp Blanche

A greatest hits of mixed metaphors, eggcorns, and people generally getting shit slightly wrong.

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘She’s not the brightest button in the shed’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

@AbiFaro Beats cold and wet

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘We need to manage this - we don’t want to leave people cold and dry.’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘I’d be chomping on your heels’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘The egg doesn’t fall far from the tree’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘I’m banging out emails like nobody’s tomorrow’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘He took his eye off the gas’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘You play with fire, you get your arse tickled.’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘Heimlich remover’

[Mrs OR 🇺🇦 @theOfficeRabbit]

@carpblanche

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘The window is a soul to your eyes’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘Sorry if you get a whift of it’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘I’m not the brightest spark in the book tonight’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘Sharp as a button, bright as a knife’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘Tony Carvery’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘That dog has a nuzzle on’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘Put the door on the hatch’

[Natalie Whitaker @njwhit1602]

I’ve just found out the saying is not ‘for pigs sake’ 🤦‍♀️ who the hell is Pete anyway? Mine makes more sense. @carpblanche

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘Gotta go, I’m in supply’

[Carp Blanche @carpblanche]

‘Rest bite’