Carrie Grant

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

@XfinitySupport almost 24 hours into a known outage in my area. My nextdoor neighbor has xfinity service working, but I don’t. Haven’t seen any updates or progress.

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

“Crotch Dander. That’d be a sweet band name.” #StuffJimmySays

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

Hey @MODPizza, my order-ahead “Flash” mod just took a full 32 minutes. How even?

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

@MODPizza - just hit the 30 minute mark for an order ahead “Flash” Mod pizza. Still waiting.

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

**Loud shoe noise**
Jimmy: what was that!
Me: an old guy’s sneakers
Jimmy: he’s not sneakin anywhere. He’s making a big loud sound.
#stuffjimmysays

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

I wish cars had an emergency toilet. #stuffjimmysays

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

"Best Queso Scenario... that's what I'd name my Mexican restaurant... write that down so I don't forget." #stuffJimmysays

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

“I mean people drink multiple beers. It’s only a matter of time until it’s socially acceptable to order two sundaes. I am a pioneer.” #stuffjimmysays

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

“If you have to ask your girlfriend, she’s not your friend.” #stuffjimmysays

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

Me: Cookie dough balls? What- are those flash fried?
Jimmy: I DON’T KNOW OR CARE #stuffjimmysays

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

Me: Do you guys smell those fries though? Jimmy: Smells like cellulite #stuffjimmysays

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

This: “Lead with love.” - @TheGayBeards #TEDxPDX

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

What I say: May I pet your dog? What I mean: Is it cool if I lay on the ground and give your dog a full body snuggle?

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

“Got a little case of Russian Poo-lette going on here.” #stuffjimmysays

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

Jimmy: **sings ALL the words to I Miss You by @blink182** #stuffjimmysays

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

Dear @Starbucks - how am I supposed to get the Coffee Ranger bingo space when my store is this amazing?

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

Seasickness comes in waves. Hahahaha. #butreallythough #carnivalsplendor

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

Y’all... it’s rain, not shards of glass. #portlandtraffic

[Carrie Grant @carriesch]

@FatherSonGaming daring obvi.

[NFL @NFL]

Using a prosthetic on his left arm, @Shaquemgriffin just put up 20 reps on the bench press! 💪

#NFLCombine @UCF_Football

📺: @nflnetwork https://t.co/fHS0b4Eb0s