Carri Corbett

I'm a four-legged horse.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

@sucittaM @trumpetcake I'll see that hi and raise you a "hey girlfriend!"

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

@thekoalasband murderer!

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

I like to learn.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

I didn't use any coupons today.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

Hoping there will be future generations to never know the word 'groupon'.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

Ever eat to the point where your voice sounds the same as if you were begging your brother to stop hitting you?

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

Just told someone to shut up. Real adrenaline rush.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

@Kingpenguinrock "Only from me" says the King of penguins!

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

Sounds like my stomach just performed the intro to Dream Weaver then ran off stage crying.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

"Bruce Jenner" is slang for "ye olde pork-n-glue face."

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

@tracy_marq a few surprises lurk here: http://t.co/agIl97th

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

Seems like a better alternative to cutting would be to let the shampoo get in your eyes.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

Tom Hanks is Xanax with a nervous system.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

Go on and follow @LouisPeitzman. Treat yourself.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

@tinaisall Once it disappears, so do my psychic powers.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

Is this a cool photo of me? Reply yes, no, or maybe.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

A good psychological thriller would be one where I have to find the best bargains online.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

@Superfluously I saw it on the side of a milk carton in 1987.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

Probably just a metaphor for incontinence.

[Carri Corbett @carrinoe]

I have a gluten allergy so I have to avoid people who use the word gluten.