Carson Carlson

sometimes I talk too much

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

Whoever invited Roman numerals should’ve kept them in Rome

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

@ChipotleTweets explain

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

I was today years old when I found out the term is “prima donna” and not “pre Madonna”

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

@madiharadine AGREE. Unless it’s Anthropologie 😂

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

I always laughed when my mom told me that one day I’d have to know my social security number off the top of my head but she was right.

Now I could tell you my SSN before remembering how old I am

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

@brianmcdowell22 🤫🤫 he doesn’t need to know this yet

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

I already knew I picked a good one but Chase had the day off so he took me out to breakfast AND surprised me at work with lunch 💃🏼

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

Was talking to Chase’s dad about life in 2015 (the year I graduated high school) and he goes “wow even back then?”

And now I feel I should check on my 401k. Am I really getting old?

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

@Joseph_Monahan I’ve been saying this for years

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

I hate when something pops into my head that I want to text chase about then I open our messages and realize I’m waiting for him to respond to the last 4 texts of random things that just popped into my head

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

Yesterday I gave a guy the last couple dollars I had on me because he didn’t have money for gas. Then I walked into the gas station after him and watched him walk straight to the fridge and buy a 6 pack. I got bamboozled

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

Ran to the bathroom for 30 SECONDS while I trusted a 4 year old with a permanent marker. Since she had a whole coloring book, I assumed we’d be safe from any drawings on the wall. Never did I expect to walk out to her entire tongue covered in jet black permanent marker 🙃🙃🙃

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

Not me watching a football game over The Bachelor. It’s like I have a ring on my finger or something

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

@CMerasco4

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

@CMerasco4 Thanks for letting us know

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

does anyone remember this???

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

@LaurynWoodward I’d love to know who’s on this list

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

@madiharadine @mckhara “Show mama this” 🥺😭😂

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

I wasn’t lying

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

I made the mistake of telling the kids I nanny that I can play any song they want when we’re in the car. We’ve listened to the Power Rangers theme song 17 times this morning and it’s only 8am

[Carson Carlson @carsonharadine]

@SarahMcarless @LaurynWoodward Yes!!! The best store ever! I hope you still have the mug!