cooter

comedian, empath, and political inactivist

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

i socially drink

i fiscally do cocaine

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

they addicted to the needledick

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

Project 2025 is to get this dick sucked

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

If America is doing war again, can we bring fight songs back this time? I think that’s what we’ve been missing from the past few

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

white girls are really having their moment. Like Taylor Swift, Caitlin Clark, and the Hawk Tuah girl all at the same time.

[Auron MacIntyre @AuronMacintyre]

This was the kill shot

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

Subway has no business charging me $16 for a sandwich. I’m literally in a gas station.

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

@0N0HC @mrbarnicoat @PicturesFoIder Because some people deserve to be rehabilitated and not let die at the hands of the government?

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

Legally Blonde and The Social Network actually happened at the same time at Harvard

[Justin Whang 🐙 @JustinWhang]

The people discovering and falling in love with Ari Shaffir from this clip are about to have a great time

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

Last name DuBois but spelled DaBoys

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

Zach LaVine out 4-6 months… what will Maroon 5 do??

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

My boy down with the rizz. He rizzarted.

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

how come it’s only socially acceptable to drink 14 diet cokes if you add alcohol to it

[Blake Hammond @BigRadMachine]

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

Thinking about becoming 50% as productive and telling everyone it’s long covid

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

@VisionaryVoid @historyinmemes he not spicy, they gripping him tough as hell.

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

@MattWalshBlog what do you conserve?

[cooter @carterdcomedy]

petition to get the good tasting vitamin gummy companies to portion out you daily needs among 14 possibly 15 gummies?