Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice.

Occasionally not an absolute dingus. I married a professional dildo model. She/Her 🦑🦑🦑

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

I’m glad I’m married to the only fuckable transformers nerd.

[aj 🧷 @ajjordanphoto]

i think about this breaking news clip like once a week

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

I’m so damn cute y’all.

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

Was telling my husband the only stats I’d have in a video game are: Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent.
He hasn’t put it together yet.

[⚘️Carina @Carina_Amyth]

@ask_aubry "High school drama"...

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

For my birthday today my dad sent my kid $200, and my mom kept me in the phone for 20 minutes to tell me about her surgery scar.

Happy Birthday to meeeee. Haha.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

If teenagers have anything it’s impeccable timing, because why is my kid texting me late at night while I am violently stoned, crying that she’s convinced she has hemorrhoids and I need to look at her butthole RIGHT now
Ma’am this is not how I was planning on spending the evening

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

https://t.co/wUWsGQIbIJ

[tavo @tavernofterrors]

someone gave the mothman statue in west virginia a tramp stamp

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

I don’t want my psych or my therapist on instagram doing shrooms wearing neon zebra print fuzzy hoodies, and fake white girl dreads. I’ll be judge-y, I just don’t think someone in control of my mental health should be zooted out of their minds getting a light show.

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

Idk if it’s just the circle of people I know, or it’s a more common generational thing, but I really have a problem with a bunch of wooks and burners and other ravers that are all becoming mental health professionals. -

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

And live a more normal and productive life. I miss my friends and independence. I miss being able to work. I miss parties. I miss feeling normal.

God I fucking miss cigarettes. 😭

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

I don’t miss being hungover in my twenties l. I don’t miss blackouts. I don’t miss embarrassing myself. I don’t miss regretful hookups and bad boyfriends.

I do miss being able to eat whatever I want. I miss my body functioning better. I miss being able to drive -

[⚘️Carina @Carina_Amyth]

@ask_aubry

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

I feel like 21 Pilots and Imagine Dragons are the Nickelback and Creed of today and no, I will not elaborate.

[whitney @its_whitney]

me going from couch nap to my actual bed

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

friends: bro wanna go to the garden later and get some pollen?

me: ok but i can only stay for a couple

also me, 6 hours later, 12 flowers deep:

[Sparkling Dumb Bitch Juice. @Catherineofmars]

I don’t want to post about my sobriety on social media, but I DO want the validation points and dopamine I’d receive from posting about my sobriety on social media.
😡