Cath Paulley

Copywriter.

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

Predictably, Andrew Castle feels obliged to reference Tiafoe's pants. now he's onto when the umpires need a wee. Is he still in the poo bum Willy phase perchance? stfu! #andrewcastle #Wimbledon

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

as usual,, andrew castle commenting on the player's girlfriend.. ffs talk about the tennis you twat. oh i forgot- you can't!#andrewcastle#queens

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

starmer's wife, lammys wife- why are they appropriate at the Pope's funeral? The men are representing their offices. What the fuck have the wives got to do with it? We don't have a first lady in this country . and It's not a Taylor Swift concert freebie.#starmer

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

so new pip assessments.. 2points for needing help to wash below the waist,4 for needing help between the shoulders and the waist. clearly the minister doesn't know the location of the human arsehole. which is odd because it is the exit point for most of her words.#PIP #Starmer

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@astro_Pettit @Space_Station hello everyone up there. just woke up and watched you fly a beautiful long arc over twickenham west london uk. have you read the lovely Orbit?

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@JennyMJ76 @Jimathy @fesshole century, even...

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

yvette cooper it's easy to criticise, not so easy to have better ideas and implement them. stop slagging your predecessors off and show us what you can do. it's boring. you've been voted in. so just get on with it.#YvetteCooper #putuporshutup

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

well it's a good result for Jon Culshaw and Rory Bremner at least.#KeirStarmer

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

while the country votes, andrew castle continues his lifelong goal to trivialise matters with his comments mostly on players' wives, girlfriends, mums and their dating histories. thank heaven for the wit and wisdom of kyrios alongside the prurient pillock#andrewcastle#Wimbledon

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

handing matches to an arsonist, or handing matches to ... an arse..? are these our only choices?#election#keirstarmer#it'sallbollocks

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@SoVeryBritish interesting that so many of the quotes are from dads... clearing the man cave! my own used to say "come again when you can't stop so long." to his own kids... to the age of 99! we laughed and love saying it still.

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@SoVeryBritish this is literally what twitter is for. 👍

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@Hoover_UK took delivery 10am of new dishwasher.couldn't get it to start a programme. hoover referred to repairers ! after my call it exploded the socket and nearly took off husbands head. offered engineer 16 jan wtf. dangerous and outrageous. engineer now pls hoover! it's new!!!

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@BBCPM to make your christmas excuses, just tell them you have diarrhoea. if you can spell it, you can tell it..

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@shelley5321 @JennBridge A list for men may run thus:
don't load the dishwasher correctly,
don't take things at the foot of the stairs, upstairs ,
don't locate the already open butter in the fridge,
don't see the function of vaccuum nozzles other than in a sexual context,
don't put the seat down..😵‍💫

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@Neurospicybrain @BridportPrize News about your memoir... it didn't tick the right boxes for these particular readers. Mine neither! Change of agenda for the afternoon. Cross out write, add more chocolate...

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@carlyreagon erm, the population of France?

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

tweet of the day - martin says the godwit sleeps by shutting down one half of its brain at a time. my husband has been doing that for years. it's the bit that sees the dishes that need doing, or the laundry on the stairs. #Tweetoftheday

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@NatGalleriesSco dear god, the water! heavenly.

[Cath Paulley @cathpaulley]

@BBCAmos the lad reveals what the owls are thinking about HS2.FCK?