Caulen Wise

Previous life pirate. Modern day Indiana Jones/adventurer. instagram: caulen

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

@adesantell Lmaooo

[Isabella Maria DeLuca @IsabellaMDeLuca]

TBH I don’t have a type.

If you just tell me I can stay home and homeschool the kids, I’m all yours.

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

First day back at work in a couple months. (Out from broken back) and I'm stuck in my truck sitting for 4 hours waiting for the correct keys to be delivered to me from another state.

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

"I go to the movies and root for the bad guys. fuck the cops. I'd much rather hang with a crook all day than a fucking cop." - George Carlin

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

@greg_price11 Haha I guess the WNBA has truly tried everything now. Still not gonna sell tickets. LA libs must be all talk.

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

@Mister_D7 @stoolpresidente Many are saying

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

@MattWallace888 Yeah so how about that bill gates video

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

@CorinnaKopf On may 14th you were pretty
Happy

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

@WhyYouPushingMe @clownworld Philadelphia also exists

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

@WhyYouPushingMe @clownworld Have you heard of LA?

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

I need to give @emilysteel from @nytimes a quick shoutout. Without her nasty hit piece on me I don’t get invited on @joerogan which has now been #1 episode on Spotify for a full week and introduced me to a new audience + made my brand stronger than ever. Thanks for being you Em

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

About to drive a tractor trailer 2k over GVW through the mountains to Bedford PA into a snow storm. 🥶

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

@GeorgeJanko @Ninja You're talking about taking a joke?

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

@GeorgeJanko wha you just pulled on the podcast will keep you out of comedy circles forever

[Caulen Wise @caulenwise]

@Steve62771154 @wfmztraffic Yeah this sucks

[Kyle Simchuk @KyleSimchuk]

BREAKING: Authorities have stopped this Uhaul and detained approximately 20 people. They all have the same type of clothing on. Truck was stopped about 1/8th mile from the pride event. We’re working to get more info from police. @KREM2

[Isabella Maria DeLuca @IsabellaMDeLuca]

You’re not depressed, you’re just a liberal.

[Isabella Maria DeLuca @IsabellaMDeLuca]

Sorry guys, she’s on a sex strike.

[U.S. Ministry of Truth @USMiniTru]

If you give us just two weeks, we can slow the spread of Monkeypox.