CB Hovey

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

Every mirror I pass: Damn, girl. U cute today.

iPhone front camera: Be humble, bitch.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

Joke that popped into my head last night with zero prompting:

What did the Joker say to the angry French pigeon?

Oiseau serious?

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

Met a Starbucks employee that doesn't know what an americano is. Instead of asking me, I now have two drinks. Neither are Americano.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

"Why are you wet?" - ancient cat owner proverb

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

Can't believe Russia just won the US election #Election2016

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

*Baylee and Ruby playing music with empty alcohol bottles* Baylee: people do this for a living.
Ruby: *blows aggressively*

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

Unsettling discovery of the day: the singing voice for Li Shang is Donny Osmond.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

You know you're tired when you have lucid dreams about not being able to stay awake.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

Norman Bates has been reincarnated as a Panera employee. Can't fake that smile. 🔪😱🚿

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

I've got 99 problems and I-75 is every single one. #KeepRightExceptToPass

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

Making me take an extra semester of pointless classes just for an hour requirement feels more like an inconvenience than an education.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

If someone could pass this Starfox level for me that'd be great.

Sincerely,

The girl substituting GameCube achievements for real success.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

If I had to choose a song to describe 2015, it'd be a toss up between Daniel Powter's Bad Day and I'm Not That Girl from Wicked.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

As the middle aged woman sneered at me, I felt a change in the air. This is it. I am officially an alt kid. The future is now.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

After watching #starwars for the first time, I'm wondering why no one told me Leia and Chewbacca are the biggest badasses in the franchise.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

Of all the songs in the world I could have gotten stuck in my head, why did it have to be the jingle from Wayfair commercials?

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

UPDATE: It has finally happened. On my 4th engagement announcement of the day and 40th status overall. I finally knew one person... kind of.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

UPDATE: im up to over 30 relationship statuses including 3 engagement announcements I just scrolled past. I don't know any of the couples.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

In 2 days i've seen almost 20 relationship posts for people i don't know in my feed. I get it, FB. I'm single. I don't need your shade.

[CB Hovey @cbhovey]

The people that constantly told me about the cute boys I'd meet in college left out the part about all of them being cats.