discyprine

[discyprine @cblankntm]

J'aime pas yannis

[jellyfish @Rantingherend]

داجمع الصور من كل زاوية كدما يضحكني

[Casey 🌸📊 @Casey_Business]

pawn shop clerk: so you're saying this grenade is...?
me: a family suicide heirloom, yes.
pawn shop clerk: but how is that...?
me: it's made with the bone fragments of my forebears. they were gonna make the next one with mine.
pawn shop clerk: who's "they"?
me: i can do $75

[Elko (ON SKY THAT IS BLU) @Pelko_P]

what size are you?

[anis @anisbkr38]

Vous faites trop les choqués parce que Zidane il regarde mal son fils si vous saviez comment mon daron il me regarde quand je me réveille

[Shep🖌🐾 @ShepGoesBlep]

How it feels when your friend is raging at a game you introduced him to

[ElBuni @therealbuni]

Mercenario vikingo persigue a soldado otomano en las puertas de constantinopla

Imperio romano de oriente, 1366 DC

[𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓪 🐸 @princesalamwane]

excuse-moi chaton qui twerke je dois continuer de scroller mais sache que tu vivras à jamais dans mon cœur

[turbomander @turbomander]

D&D two sentence horror:

after days in the dungeon, I was so happy to finally see a bathroom.

toilet mimic.

[rio 🪲🏳️‍🌈 bug oomf @colligocritters]

when I came out my muslim immigrant father who was german champion of karate he immediately accepted me as his son and when I was like "I didn't expect this" he said he was besties with some butches in america he met at strip clubs he ate steak at so.. shoutout them

[Yup @Lobopobia]

Beautiful woman was chatting to me over the bar and midway through the conversation I took a slice out my finger while cutting limes and had to hit this while she was talking to me for the next 3 minutes

[Grançois @tritrir13]

Le daron quand il m'a demandé la scie sauteuse et que je lui ai ramené la scie circulaire (j'avais 6 ans et demi)

[: @sn0oozey]

This is my circus and I’m one of the monkeys. I’m the best monkey. I give it my all every single time.

[mishi @hunterch4fer]

Roomate who's never brought a guy home brought a 5'5 bald and bearded guy who's built like a brick wall but didn't tell me so I'm dancing in the kitchen with my headphones on and I just see out of the corner of my eye what I thought was a dwarf from the hobbit and screamed

[🇨🇲 @vanessacrossou1]

la hauteur à laquelle il filme wsh c’est un building ou quoi

[𐰆 Ⰰ 🐓 @Amolog3169]

Le daron, lorsque tu ne connais pas le mdp de son compte gmail :

[Tommy Siegel @TommySiegel]

we can’t wait to see what you become