Carrie Mitchell

Wish I could, but I can’t. Well, can, but won’t. Should, maybe, but shorn’t.

[Rach💖 @_solongdaisymay]

As a New Englander, @NoahKahan’s new album sounds like the words you try to say about the place you grew up but can’t quite find. It sounds like home.

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

I googled it, it’s wheels.

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

kayne bout to pull an OJ

[Chris Murphy @christress]

"We need a superhero that's" stop that. we're adults. we need universal health care and a 4 day work week

[BIG 🌹Rose @GuardurRose]

At no age because it’s called a turtle neck

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

when you can’t settle on a theme for your 11th birthday

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

My cousin got married today and I cried the whole time #OlneyOneForMe #OlneyFans

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

when you haven’t been to a bar in over a year and they play Dixieland Delight #WarDamn

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

@goofball_27 Amazing. How has this not become a thing yet

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

I’m going to Rochester this weekend and it’s supposed to be high of 64… Do I bring a winter jacket??

[HighHeels/LowMorals @lessisabore]

Got so bored I made a sex tape.

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

Corey doesn’t like when I say “Raise Dale, Praise Hell”

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

@mo_dix23 just got bucked off a horse and didn’t even cry. #horsegirl

[Bradford Pearson @BradfordPearson]

Am I...am I about to fight these bagels?

[Tony Hale @MrTonyHale]

She was a force, and her talent and timing were unmatched. Rest In Peace Mama Bluth.

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

Having a puppy is good practice for having kids except I tell my puppy things like, “smoke a bowl and chill the fuck out.” I probably shouldn’t say that to a human child

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

Sick tats bro. Is that an alien dick?

[Carrie Mitchell @cdixxx]

I know I’m late but I finally watched Infinity War but I don’t have time to watch End Game tonight. And now I have to go to bed all sad n shit