Zsaallday

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

me: can i get a burger ($5.99) with fries ($1.99) and a soda ($1.49)

cashier: sure that’ll be $25

me: ok

[Maryam @hell_line0]

Idk but Michelle Obama telling Barack “You told me all those years ago that you couldn't promise me the world, but you could promise me an interesting life. And, of course you outdid yourself and managed to give me both." is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard someone say to another 🥹

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

I wonder if any medieval peasants stayed awake at night replaying awkward conversations

Just lying there in the dark thinking, “I was weird at the well”

[Ray Mond @AmberRayz]

me watching married people at work flirt with their coworkers

[U. @uniqueblessed]

This white man just paid for my food and told me happy Juneteenth , exactly fuck nigga that’s what I’m talking about !

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

I just helped a 94 year old dude figure out how to use his card at the gas pump. First off my dawg we need to get you off the road

[duchess of arrakis @thisisnefertiti]

The reality is that it doesn’t matter if someone wants to or not. If you have expectations that are not being met then they’re not being met. If you communicate about it and there’s no improvement? You’re wasting your time and need to move on

[Zsaallday @CelestialPecan]

@hexsgroove @rarrys6 The woman who has the highest grossing country tour of all time

[Lisa @lisathebeauty1]

next rage bait idea: like your own texts during an argument

[Zsaallday @CelestialPecan]

@TayXLamar @BLUNTHOVEN 😭😭😭😭

[Black Girl @t_sadiity]

Yall do know it’s ok to pass a police car right??

[Zsaallday @CelestialPecan]

Mind you, the tweet is from 2019

[I appreciate you. @DeeLaSheeArt]

The amount of recycled content across apps is wild. Omg. You can literally read a tweet then a thread then somebody gone recite the shit on TikTok and Instagram

[Chetnaa💗 @vednaaprapt]

I texted him, "How was your day today?" and he sent me a 10-minute voice note telling me everything.
And that basically sums up the kind of person I want by my side. Stop normalizing disinterest.

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

craziest part about this is that the end result was a Community episode getting pulled off Netflix and police budgets going up by like 700%

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Unless I’m working in an ER, working as a paramedic, or working as a firefighter, there’s no reason I should be expected to “thrive in a fast-paced, high-pressure environment.” Just fix the terrible management and stop running your office like a circus.

[dekalb doll ⭐️ @stilllbarbie]

water sign men-sensitive, wishy washy, manipulative

earth sign men- mean, cynical, judgy

fire sign men- angry, aggressive, god complex

air sign men-fake aloof/mysterious, detached, slow

[Zsaallday @CelestialPecan]

@vomitoriouus @GotDaScoop Oh so now yall don’t believe in corporate giants and hate trains???

[$iGN*🧟‍♂️🇧🇷🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @dazedstunna]

avoidants when you do something so small that they can use as an excuse to ghost you

[Zsaallday @CelestialPecan]

Not too much.

[Kadott @Kadotttt]

Kim Kardashian failing the bar exam so many times that she gives up on being a lawyer is making me realize the American bar association might just be one of like three remaining institutions in the US that won't just roll over and give the exorbitantly wealthy whatever they want

[Zsaallday @CelestialPecan]

@___Taurean___ We told them when she had twitter for a few hours she only did it to collect evidence