Cels ✨

please don't take my tweets too serious | just here for light-hearted laughs & everything Real Housewives - 🇦🇮

[BBC News (UK) @BBCNews]

Met hands Grenfell fire investigation file to CPS https://t.co/iAcprS1N0B

[meghan @deloisivete]

Hey babe, are you adobe acrobat because you are not responding

[LimeWire @limewire]

just a reminder the music industry tried to sue us for $72 trillion back in the day. like lol does that number even exist?

still not paying

[Huncle Cosmos @huncle_cosmos]

Me trying to remember that one word that will unlock the whole sentence

[Ƙŵɓñ🦅 @akokc_dark0]

Me during World War III fighting for China because I accepted all of Temu’s terms and conditions without reading them:

[‏ً @itsnwts]

Just a reminder that the incident happened in 2024. We are ONLY hearing about it now simply because she wouldn’t give up.

[𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒕𝒐𝒏 @WelingtonOnAir]

Rewatching Revenge and I forgot Emily Thorne was a DEMON from DAY ONE 😭 She poisoned Conrad’s soup, watched him get carried out on a stretcher, walked up to his MISTRESS Lydia talmbout “is this your husband?” and then casually name-dropped the South Fork Inn to Victoria so SHE could finish the job 😭😭😭

Victoria publicly banishing Lydia from the Hamptons immediately after???

THIS WAS THE PILOT. Television used to MOVE.

[Civixplorer @Civixplorer]

Nobody:
Ottoman Sultans:

[paulo the finance guy 🇧🇷 @PauloNoggy]

Taylor Wimpey, Barrett Redrow and Persimmon are up 15% today.

Read into that what you will.

[Reiki Momma @Luminary_Wings]

And the grand daddy baby boomer variant. James Earl Jones lol

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

[himanshu. @hihehimanshu]

hyrox is just takeshi's castle for people going through midlife crisis

[metaphysical lamb @meta_lamb]

if “chances are slim” and “fat chance” both mean the odds are stacked against you, what is the ideal BMI of fate

[𝐁𝐈𝐆 𝐌𝐎 … @JaYunnaMonae]

i shoulda bought a house in 2015 instead of tryna HITTT THE QUANNN 💔

[IROKO @irokointertidal]

canary wharf feels like dubai (derogatory)

[☆Stacey☆ @StaceyB_1980]

I actually used cash today at the store. Might chop some wood later…
May even ride the horse into town to get provisions

[✰ jada ✰ @eatuhfrank]

you shouldn’t be able to call somebody on social media, that’s too much access

[Axio 🔶 @axiochrono]

Someone should make a reality show where British and Chinese construction workers swap countries and have to adjust to the vastly different standards.

[KO @itrymybestinnit]

Heathrow son Vs HS2 daughter

[Ash @theashrb]

Unserious country