Chalise Mills

Bios are hard

[Chalise Mills @chalise_dub_u]

Thank you @joshgarrels for spending 84 hours with me this year on @Spotify! You are my fave. Our first dance at our wedding was Heaven’s Knife. ❤️
#2018Wrapped https://t.co/soBir26apJ

[Chalise Mills @chalise_dub_u]

Shout out to the restaurants and stores that have music playing in their bathrooms.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: Why are you crying?

5-year-old: Because I'm crying.

Vicious cycle.

[Cait @CaitlinMoffett4]

Summer is going by too fast which just gives me yet another reason why I should live somewhere where summer lasts nearly all year

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

3-year-old: You got your hair cut.

Me: Do you like it?

3: *walks away*

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

That awkward moment when you lean over a sleeping kid to see if they’re breathing and they open their eyes and you’re both scarred for life

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

7-year-old: What's your favorite color?

Me: I don't know.

7: I thought you went to college.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

5-year-old: When can I stop wearing shorts under my dresses?

Me: When you stop doing somersaults in them.

5: So never?

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

7-year-old: Why do they sell garages at garage sales?

Me: They don't

7: So it's a garage not-for-sale?

Oh, no. She inherited the dad gene

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[in the van]

3-year-old: Where are we going?

Me: A restaurant.

3: Are you going?

Me: I'm driving.

3: I guess you can come.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

5-year-old: We're having a pizza party!

Me: We're having pizza. What makes it a party?

5: Me.

[misti sutton @MistiSutton]

The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding

[Chalise Mills @chalise_dub_u]

@joeliebersbach This is amazing. ✨