champagnediesel

Snapchat model: @champagnediesel • Drafts for Instagram: @champagne_diesel

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Boss: "Why are you late?"

Ryan Lochte: "I was murdered last night."

[Secret Flying @SecretFlying]

Non-stop from #NewYork to the US Virgin Islands for only $295 roundtrip with @Delta #Travel (Jan-Feb dates)

https://t.co/Pfw0ejGiv7

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

The biggest lie we tell ourselves now a days is, “I’ll QUICKLY share my screen”.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Can’t wait til they legalize getting drunk in public places.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

You morons wished so much for longer weekends that we’re literally in one long ass weekend. 😩😩😩

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Her: I bet he’s thinking about other girls.

Him: maybe if I keep drinking Coronas ill build an immunity to the Coroni.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

If I really wanted to waste 3 months of my life I would’ve just dated someone from my hometown.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

There was no COVID19 when the Backstreet Boys were together, just saying.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

If you wear this hat and you’re over 30, you’re probably still in a shitty post-modern rock band and/or balding.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

How me and homies are dapping up after this Quarantini shit over.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

The best thing about remote working is that no one knows what’s in my mug. Is it a vodka tonic? Coffee? A Capri Sun? Mikes hard lemonade?

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

wwyd if I shared my screen with you and my background was a photoshopped pic me and you at the altar and Shrek was the priest.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Imagine being stuck in quarantine with someone and you happen to find a “Live, Laugh, Love” painting in the back of their closet.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Friends: “wanna have a Netflix party and watch Friends?”

Me:

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Maybe if the stock market didn’t order all those avocado toasts it wouldn’t be in such a dire financial state. 😤😤😤

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Wondering how all the girls on Tinder who put “travel” and “eat out” as their hobbies are holding out during this Coroni quarantini.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Another 30 days of not being able to kiss the homies goodnight 🥺🥺🥺

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Sitting here thinking about all the people who’s personality depends on them saying they like “eating out” and “traveling”.

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Hope they’re wearing protection or they’ll end up catching COVID-69

[New York Post @nypost]

Sex club hosts digital orgy on Zoom with 100 horny masked members https://t.co/95933YMIPu

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Just saw my ex post a pic with their new bae. I’m kind of worried they might have the Coroni bc one of the symptoms is having no taste. 🤔

[champagnediesel @champagnediesel]

Co-workers dog walks into the video conference meeting:

Me: