Chandler Jolliffe

Customer Success & Start-Ups. Most of my tweets are sarcasm, politics or both.

[Donald Trump’s Neck Vagina @torontobaddy]

Who was this reporter? I’d like to buy them a drink. 🥃

[TORONTO LEGENDS podcast @TorontoLegends_]

🇨🇦Friday night 8pm in Huntsville: An Evening with Ken Reid discussing Hometown Hockey Heroes!😃
Will YOU be there?? 🤔
Of course you will! 😀
🎟️ https://t.co/jFGgxlTJHc

@SNKenReid @SimonSchusterCA @smorrisonmedia @DougMaclean @evankaosmak @townhuntsville @Muskoka411 @Sportsnet

[Matt Fuller @MEPFuller]

Saudi Arabia: Hey PGA golfers! We have a bunch of money to offer you for our new league.

PGA Tour: You’re ruining the game and sportswashing your reputation of human rights abuses.

SA: OK but what if we offered *you* a lot of money?

PGA: Today, we’d like to announce a merger w

[follow @bencollins on bluesky @oneunderscore__]

Journalists who cover Elon Musk have been suspended on Twitter tonight: @Donie O'Sullivan from CNN, Aaron Rupar and the Washington Post's @drewharwell.

Rupar tells me he has "no idea" why it happened.

[Chandler Jolliffe @chandlerj2]

@daniellecandel As always, I am so proud of who you are!

[Greyson Myers @grey_son7]

Welcome to the United States. Where guns have more rights than women

[Danny DeVito @DannyDeVito]

Supreme Court my ass

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Overturning Roe and outlawing abortions will never make them go away.

It only makes them more dangerous, especially for the poor + marginalized.

People will die because of this decision. And we will never stop until abortion rights are restored in the United States of America.

[Lindy Li @lindyli]

Lauren Boebert was a sex worker & had 2 abortions but pretends to be a pro-life Republican

Herschel Walker has a secret son but runs as a conservative family man

Trump is a serial sexual assaulter but evangelical Christians worship him

Hypocrisy is the hallmark of the GOP

[Chandler Jolliffe @chandlerj2]

@dave__whiteside Half the time I’m just buying them for me… why aren’t I just allowed to like flowers!?

[Paul Fairie @paulisci]

One continues to feel that Ontario should refrain from making fun of the provincial politics of other provinces.

[Ben Rosen @ben_rosen]

listen, there are responsible gun owners who just enjoying hunting and I want to make it clear that I don’t care at all and they can find literally any other hobby

[No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen @NoLieWithBTC]

In 2022, more children have been killed in school shootings than police officers have been shot in the line of duty.

[Beto O'Rourke @BetoORourke]

Governor Abbott, if you have any decency, you will immediately withdraw from this weekend’s NRA convention and urge them to hold it anywhere but Texas.

[Amanda Gorman @TheAmandaGorman]

It takes a monster to kill children. But to watch monsters kill children again and again and do nothing isn’t just insanity—it’s inhumanity.

[Christopher Mathias @letsgomathias]

we just went through two years of parents storming school boards calling masks child abuse

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

It really is insane that every single person with a cell phone deals with several attempted scams every day and we’ve just accepted that it’s part of our lives forever

[Dave Whiteside @dave__whiteside]

A personal announcement:

I don’t like baths. I just don’t get them. But once every three years or so I think, “I should give baths another chance”. Tonight was that night.

I am happy to announce that as of tonight, I still do not even remotely understand why people enjoy baths.

[Chandler Jolliffe @chandlerj2]

@EmmMacfarlane Continue a long series of utterly inept English leaders debates.
At least we have consistency