Corny Waifu

Just a girl who knits a lot of shit, does a lot of shit & says a lot of shit.

[Corny Waifu @chandrabobandra]

So yesterday @waywardcross and I had a baby. He's perfect in every way.
Our little Simon is just the entire world to us.

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

Who among us has not both fucked around and found out?

[Spoon & Tamago @Johnny_suputama]

It’s Halloween weekend and that means it’s time for everyone’s favorite Japanese festival Jimi Halloween, where people dress up in costumes so mundane they have to be explained. Let’s dive in 🧵

[Jeff May (CEO, Antifa Org.) @heytherejeffro]

Ok real quick, because @elonmusk is such a huge "Twitter is all about freedom of speech" guy, does that mean we can tell him that we hope he gets hit walking in a crosswalk by a normally functioning Tesla?

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

outlook: I'm the most powerful office tool ever made. I can search every email you've ever received and keep track of the meetings you have six months from now

me: I would like to still view an attachment after someone replies to the email

outlook: [confused hissing]

[Dan Wiederer @danwiederer]

I have been looking at this picture for 6-7 minutes.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

[gaston watching the hero in literally any other Disney movie]
that is—okay—that’s fucking EXACTLY what I did and everyone got pissed at me

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

New Stardew Valley Mod Lets You Know What Everyone in Town Says Behind Your Back

https://t.co/1HvilwSigm

[Paige Wesley @PaigeWesley]

Oh this hit me where I LIVE.

[Shitheadsteve @shitheadsteve__]

The DMV employee looking at me after I forgot to bring my 2nd grade report card

[Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc @JasonKPargin]

If TikTok awarded oscars for the best line reading, the final three words in this one would win

[rachel @rachelmillman]

guy behind me at citifield says he’s “done with baseball” and “might try like, books”

[Corny Waifu @chandrabobandra]

@cute_loot 1) it's crochet
2) I AM MAKING THIS FOR THE BOY

[shoe @shoe0nhead]

ai art has perfected the female form

[David Toons 🔜 Aurawra @DavidToons_]

Chris sounds like Linda from Bob's Burgers, so as an animator: this had to be done.

[Colin Cunningham @Sgtzima]

LIVE WIRE (1992) has a scene where Pierce Brosnan has to get rid of an exploding clown at a kid's party and it's amazing.

[Eli Hollywood @elilutsky]

(Doing crowdwork to an audience of toddlers) You just know THIS motherfucker wants uppy