char_name

[David Hines @hradzka]

we got more St. Augustine before THE WINDS OF WINTER

[Dilan Esper @dilanesper]

It's pretty amazing that after years of "the zinc lobby will never allow it" and "everyone will round up prices", we just stopped making pennies and nobody cares.

[lyss, esq @am_yers]

Ngl I am sometimes impressed with my client's driving skills when I get dash cam of high speed chases lol. Not condoning anything of course but like sick weaving man (very dangerous don't do this)

[gwen howerton @kissphoria]

having a qui gon jinn summer (gambling on sports, wearing robes, adopting orphans into my ancient religion)

[Lawyer Issues @LawyerIssues]

Being a lawyer is calling it “catching up on work” because “working on my day off” sounds too honest.

[Noble Art Understander @UnderstanderArt]

Dude who hates Nolan’s adaptation of Homer not because it’s inaccurate or unfaithful but because he agrees with Plato that Homer is a corruptive influence on the youth.

[Heshie Brody @heshie]

I never flew spirit, first I was too broke, then I was too rich

[David Slotnick @David_Slotnick]

As people dump on the Spirit experience today, I’m remembering the legendary announcement one of their flight attendants made:

“Welcome to Spirit Airlines. And to those of you who said you’d never fly us again: Welcome back.”

[char_name @char_name]

@HazelAppleyard Enjoy life as a billionaire for a decade and then die.

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

Pilot: is there a doctor on the plane

Doctor: yes I’m here

Pilot: why are you flying spirit

[char_name @char_name]

@NataliaAntonova The audacity of giving career advice (don't settle, it's hindering your growth!) when she's never cleared 20k. Incredible.

[Lil Samsquanch @lilsamsquanch66]

Been drinking pretty much only Diet Coke to save water for Claude

[Chains @FrankieChains]

Putting my first MPRE score on my dating profile so the ladies know I’m a bad boy

[Jeremy Kauffman 🦔🌲🌕 @jeremykauffman]

A good business rule is that your customer is always right but has no idea why.

If your customer rejects your sandwich (app, book), he is always right.

But don't expect the customer to know how to make a better sandwich. You're the cook!

[Jeremy Horpedahl 🥚📉 @jmhorp]

"It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest."

[Conor Rogers @conorjrogers]

FIFA having its corrupt way with every single city and country its ever touched until suddenly being shocked and stunned into submission by a final, even more corrupt thing: New Jersey

[The Ginger Swindler @lilydsmith]

every year on tax day i think about the girl who told me she thought it was like your parents insurance that you could stay on until 26 and she just hadn’t been filing for years. hope she is doing well.

[John D. Cook @JohnDCook]

Commentators repeatedly described yesterday’s Artemis splashdown as “textbook.” The flight dynamics were flawless.

This shows that getting Outlook to work is literally harder than rocket science.

[Sean T at RCP @SeanTrende]

"Four corporations . . . that's a monopoly." Um

[Enguerrand VII de Coucy @ingelramdecoucy]

We need to figure out which group of chimps is anti-communist so we can supply them with guns and logistical support