Chef Sessions

U.S. Attorney General by day, very not-racist chef by night.
Signature recipes include:
Muslim Ban-ana Bread, Roy S'Moores and Omaroast Beef.
Parody/Satire

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

Hey @jonlovett! Pres. Trump loves the Dreamers! And if you love someone, set them free (or deport them). In honor of his compassion, here's my newest recipe!

Frozen Strawberry DACAris™ - like our immigration policy, they’re cold and rely heavily on ICE!

Recipe:
I do not recall

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@KrishVignarajah @kenklippenstein @krystalball @mattczeller @mattyglesias @MHackman @BernieSanders @IlhanMN @Ilhan @RepAOC @mehdirhasan Amen 🙏

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@Young25Tim @KrishVignarajah @baltimoresun @jacobsoboroff Outrageous. Send them all to The Hague.

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@danpfeiffer Psssh...Dan hasn’t even signed the Tethics pledge.

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@MarciaBelsky 🍏?

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@Young25Tim @AbdulElSayed Yes! So grateful for America Dissected these days...

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@Young25Tim @uscensusbureau @dccensus @CACensus @UNITEDWEDREAM @TheDemocrats @RepAOC @ZerlinaMaxwell @RepJasonCrow @ChelseaClinton @PodSaveAmerica 👏👏👏

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@ShawnFetta @Haleaziz Yup, no harm no foul!

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@jonlovett @PeteButtigieg Why hasn’t he consented to continue resettling refugees in South Bend, as he unfortunately has to under Trump’s executive order? Deadline fast approaching.

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@EndlessJeopardy What is H2WoOoAH?

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@mikeyfuntime @streetseidell

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@Sudi_Green Loooooved this sketch. Keep em coming!

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@Haleaziz @DLind Hamed “Scoops...I Did It Again” Aleaziz?

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@Haleaziz @DLind Hamed “Cadillac Scoop Deville” Aleaziz?

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@michellemalkin @ATrueJameson @LIRSorg Nope. These aren’t Somalis voting. These are Americans voting. You have to be a US citizen to vote in MN.

So *Americans* have seized power. Unless you mean to imply that Americans of Somali heritage are less American...🙄🤔

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@Tanvim I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% hat bitch

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@Tanvim Just started the Immigration portion. Julian opens with eliminating 1325, Northern Triangle Marshall plan, and now they’re throwing to Bennett for some reason 👀

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@aparnapkin This one.

[Chef Sessions @Chef_Sessions_]

@joeposner Funnier when @travishelwig did it. There’s this thing called retweeting you should look into.