ANCIENT MAN

MY NAME IS PSAMTIKSENEB I AM A ANCIENT MAN IM ON HERE TO MAKE MONEY MOVES I will never betray Assyria long live Ashurbanipal

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

IM SMOKING INDUS RIVER VALLEY HASHISHAH IM HIGH OFF THE SHIT THAT MAKES YOU INVENT HIGHER ORDER COUNTING SYSTEMS

[USFBULLS69 @usfbulls69]

“AI is gonna take your job”

I’d like to see AI mix a shitty batch of concrete and tell the apprentice to secretly bury it in the homeowner’s garden

[vvv @g9nsai]

ma nouvelle création : l’ail pensif

[the michael jackson of stomp clap @necrobranson]

Trying to avoid eye contact with my wife this Saturday morning as she has a big exclamation point quest giver mark over her head

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

@garshmo I didn’t understand what you meant by this at the time but now I see what you were getting at

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

@tinylittlehomie this seems like a really good way to pass the time for someone who is severely mentally ill. it doesn't hurt anybody and maybe they eat some the pretzels after doing this, which would count as food, kind of. one step above the Fischer play-set kitchen

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

@barbarismcrit It’s so funny that the lady running the panel is silently holding the microphone instead of handing it to the incandescently orange man trying to wheeze out the talking point. That’s a funny bit to do if you’re interviewing someone you fucking hate

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

@SubwayTakes How do you have so many different pairs of dark sunglasses to wear on the subway? I've seen maybe five different pairs across the times this garbage has come up on my feed. I feel like it's largely overcast or even grey in New York no? What is going on here brother?

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

@weezerfan1707 @comunacomun @gains_tweets it's woks all the way down brother

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

@SubwayTakes @arooj_aftab Is the subway really that bright that you both need to wear dark sunglasses? You know you’re underground?
Anyway If I catch you anywhere east of Pennsylvania Ave or south of Atlantic me and my ethnically diverse crew of stoop sitters are going to rob your ass blind

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

They should invent a type of woman that listens to you

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

LOOK BOY IM SIPPING THROUGH A LONG REED STRAW ON A SLURRY OF SPROUTED EINKORN AND RAINWATER FERMENTED IN A TALL CLAY VESSEL

I GOT MY WHOLE TEAM WITH ME THEY ALL GOT STRAWS IN THERE TOO WE TALKING GROWN MEN CONCERNS. DOMESTICATING CEREAL GRAINS PERMANENT SETTLEMENTS TYPE SHIT

[matt @mattybtweets69]

There’s a disease going so viral that you can catch it just by looking at someone with it. It’s called, a smile :)

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

Sometimes you come across a culinary invention so vile that it could only come from The God’sForgotten Land of Canada, and you think: surely this could only ever be fit for animals or prisoners of war. And if you look it up you’ll find that’s exactly who they fed it to in the US

[ak @ak47eating]

@anniierau they were probably the first all-dressed chips to be mass-produced for sale in the united states, even if rather restricted in market? https://t.co/DgNnjfI3bH

[Path of the Alpha: Weed Mubarak @WeedMubarak]

No Iraqi has ever taken me to family court. No Iranian has ever deprived me of weekend visitation

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

@GarlicCorgi For the ad to have narrative coherence one would have to assume the character portrayed begins the story with zero contextual knowledge concerning eggs, breakfast, Nigeria, or the concept of sports gambling. It's this lady's first day being alive

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

New fish just dropped in case you were considering Really Doing It This Time. Not today brotha time to learn about a new type of fucked up looking fish creature

[Big Fish Expeditions @BigFishTrips]

Introducing the newly described Xingu Discus Ray (Paratrygon raonii).
Four new paratrygons described from Brazil: https://t.co/q5nLMcHP0E

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

@squidgybo2000 @Kairo_Anatomika forward

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

@RoughEdgeBarb @glutenmorguen @AJamesHidell @Hezbolsonaro bing bing bing. was looking through this thread to see if anyone gets this. The technology is just fundamentally poorly suited for the job of translation in multiple critical domains, even though everyone assumes it must be the perfect use case! It simply isn't!

[ANCIENT MAN @chegroovera]

@taste_of_tbone Want to agree I just cannot condone the phrase “three full sized *things* of mustard.” It tells me nothing about the actual quantity of mustard at play here. I can’t be sure whether that is, in fact, too much mustard for any one man, or if you are simply a coward (no disrespect)

[JeefBerky @MoleModern]

@batmanandsobbin For everyone curious